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71
WHAT I MEANT TO TELL YOU
<p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/1996.jpg"/></p><p>She learned early how silence</p><p>can feel like armor</p><p>even when it cuts.</p><p><br/></p><p>After school, he’d linger too close,</p><p>his words sliding over her skin</p><p>like something she couldn’t wipe off.</p><p>Everyone said he was “just joking.”</p><p>Everyone said she was “too sensitive.”</p><p><br/></p><p>What I meant to tell you</p><p>was that his voice made the hallway shrink,</p><p>made the air feel too thin</p><p>for someone my size.</p><p><br/></p><p>She kept her eyes down.</p><p>Held her books like shields.</p><p>Laughed when she was supposed to.</p><p>Pretended the knot in her stomach</p><p>was something she could swallow.</p><p><br/></p><p>What I meant to tell you</p><p>was that I stopped breathing right</p><p>every time he said my name.</p><p><br/></p><p>At home she rehearsed the truth</p><p>in the mirror,</p><p>trying to convince her reflection</p><p>that her fear was real enough</p><p>to matter.</p><p>Still, the words refused to move,</p><p>stuck in her throat</p><p>like a secret she never asked for.</p><p><br/></p><p>What I meant to tell you</p><p>was that I didn’t feel safe.</p><p>Not even a little.</p><p>Not even with you.</p><p><br/></p><p>Some nights she cried quietly,</p><p>because loud crying felt like asking</p><p>for someone to hear her.</p><p>And hearing her</p><p>felt too risky.</p><p>Too shameful.</p><p>Too much like breaking the rule</p><p>that said girls must endure</p><p>to be “good.”</p><p><br/></p><p>What I meant to tell you</p><p>was that I needed help.</p><p>And I didn’t know how to ask.</p><p><br/></p><p>She goes on with her days,</p><p>still small in places</p><p>she never chose to shrink.</p><p>Still carrying a fear</p><p>that doesn’t belong to her.</p><p>Still waiting for the courage</p><p>to turn the locked-up words</p><p>into something real.</p><p><br/></p><p>What I meant to tell you</p><p>was everything.</p><p>But I didn’t.</p><p>And I’m still trying to forgive myself</p><p>for that.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>From: The '<strong style=""><em>Unspoken Versions Of Me' </em></strong>series </p><p>Pt 1A</p>
224
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