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9
Who am I?
<p><br/></p><p>I've always wondered how I'd answer if someone looked at me and asked</p><p>‘Who are you?’</p><p>Seems easy right? But who I'm I really outside of being my parents' daughter, my sister's siblings, my brother's little sister and the family's last born?</p><p>Identity has always been something that I struggle with </p><p><br/></p><p>So maybe I'd smile and say my name </p><p>But even that was given to me and have I earned it?</p><p>Maybe I've not had it completely easy</p><p>But I've had it easy enough to just be without needing to discover, to not think about who I want to be in a room full of people that don't know me</p><p><br/></p><p>I envy people who know who they are</p><p>They might not have it all figured out </p><p>But somehow they shine so bright; maybe to me</p><p>But they have a drive, a goal, and endgame </p><p>A fire that burns within them and refuse to be weathered even by the cruelest of conditions </p><p>Maybe that's direction, but doesn't it come together?</p><p>Either ways I want it</p><p>Sometimes when it gets too exhausting </p><p>I find myself pausing and asking myself if it's worth it </p><p>But I don't have an alternative, so I cling to familiarity </p><p>So if you see me trying and working, it's not because I know what I'm doing </p><p>It's because I don't know what I'd rather be doing </p><p>Maybe that's fear in all it's glory</p><p><br/></p><p>To my shadow I'd say </p><p>“I struggle with self esteem and confidence, saying no feels like delivering a death sentence, constant self doubt is my motivation and I judge myself harsher than the world.</p><p>I'm comfortable with the people I know (through circumstances)but I can't hold conversations with a stranger for the life of me</p><p>I feel too strongly, it gets overwhelming </p><p>Wondering if I invent these feelings to fill a void that's supposed to be there</p><p>when i find no reason to attach my emotions to I brush it off </p><p>Often times I confuse holding yourself in high regard to arrogance </p><p>And putting one's self down to humility “</p><p><br/></p><p>I feel like people always think that answer has to come in a sentence </p><p>But I'm not a full package yet</p><p>So would you sit with me while I recite a whole history of ‘who I think I am’</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe these are all flaws, but they're who I am now</p><p>Not who I want to be </p><p>Maybe that's why I don't know how to answer</p><p>B</p><p>ecause I'm not quite where I want to be </p>
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