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191
Dear diary, I met a boy.
<p>Dear Diary, I met a boy.</p><p>It’s quite tiring, isn’t it—this girl meets boy story.</p><p>But can I write just one more?</p><p>Please hold this one for me.</p><p>Dear diary, this one is not like the other boys,</p><p>and I’m sure you’ve heard that before.</p><p>He’s different.</p><p>You’ve already assumed that.</p><p>But what about me?</p><p>Because I have never felt this way before.</p><p>Never so conflicted.</p><p>Never so willing to put off a part of myself for someone else.</p><p>Never so needy.</p><p>Never so clingy.</p><p>This one—this boy—</p><p>he gives me all I need.</p><p>He loves me in the ways that matter.</p><p>That much is obvious.</p><p>It’s just that…</p><p>He reaches for me.</p><p>But his hands are still restrained.</p><p>How do I hold someone whose hands aren’t free?</p><p>He loves me,</p><p>but I know he could never give himself to me completely.</p><p>So would this ever be truly more?</p><p>Would it be better if we just closed our eyes</p><p>and pretended this could be enough?</p><p>But I have never been the kind of girl</p><p>to keep my eyes closed.</p><p><strong>Oh, dear diary, I don’t know what to do.</strong></p>
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