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Episode 4: Money Wahala.
<p>I'm suing my bank account, and you have to be there.</p><p><br/></p><p>Let's rewind.</p><p><br/></p><p>The rain and sun had since bid farewell and left me with their relative—the wind.</p><p><br/></p><p>You're already here.</p><p><br/></p><p>I'd just received 10,000 Nigerian Naira. </p><p><br/></p><p>The joy wasn't to last.</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: Why would I check my balance and see 5,999?</p><p><br/></p><p>You: What happened?</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: Subscriptions! And VAT and tax and everything in between!</p><p><br/></p><p>You: Ah. At this point I feel there should be professional "money trackers.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: You get.</p><p><br/></p><p>You: So why are we suing your bank account?</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: Good question. You'll find out in court.</p><p> (During interrogation)</p><p>Me: What do you have to say for yourself?</p><p><br/></p><p>B.A: I have needs.</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: With my money?</p><p><br/></p><p>B.A: Our money.</p><p><br/></p><p>Me:(In shock)</p><p><br/></p><p>B.A: National crisis? </p><p><br/></p><p>Me: Don't you dare. I'll sue you.</p><p><br/></p><p>B.A: Sue me.</p><p><br/></p><p>You and Me: (exchange glances)</p><p><br/></p><p>Me(again): Where were you on the night the money disappeared?</p><p><br/></p><p>B.A: (smirks) enjoying your money. I don't have to explain anything.</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: Just answer these questions. </p><p><br/></p><p>You and Me: (bring out our notebooks)</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: What did you do with ₦50?</p><p><br/></p><p>B.A: Service fee.</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: How did the subscription apps know I had money?</p><p><br/></p><p>B.A: I simply alerted them. Told them we're rich.</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: Ah. </p><p><br/></p><p>You: What did you do with ₦1?</p><p><br/></p><p>B.A: (grins) Just because I could. I do that to everyone. You're not special.</p><p><br/></p><p>(Phone buzzes)</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: Payment received?</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: (checks) ₦5,996.</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: Wait... You removed more?</p><p><br/></p><p>B.A: You owed me!</p><p><br/></p><p>Me: That's it. We're going to court.</p><p><br/></p><p>You: (checking your account) right behind you.</p><p><br/></p><p>O-kay! Welcome back. Let's talk.</p><p><br/></p><p>Does your money also disappear before you get to spend it?? One minute I'm rich; the next, there's -₦3 in my account and I'm begging Airplane mode for data.</p><p><br/></p><p>It's not even funny. At this rate, I won't be called broke. I'd probably be labelled impoverished.</p><p><br/></p><p>Before you talk, can't you see it's a national crisis? Abi you're not affected?</p><p><br/></p><p>Anyway, let me know what you think. This is the second to last episode.😫</p><p><br/></p><p>Thank you guys for your patience and consistency. Much love!</p>
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