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Letters From Delight ⁠♡♡ Nigeria
Student @ Prince Abubakar Audu University Kogi State.
In Women 4 min read
I Wish Feminism Never Existed
<p><sub>There is a part of me that wishes the word feminism never existed. Not because I disagree but because it shouldn't have been necessary if from the beginning women had been seen as fully human, fully deserving, fully capable and fully independent. There would be no need to generate or argue for a word to prove or advocate for our equality. No protest. No movement. </sub></p><p><sub>But here we are, the word exist because we still have people who think roles should be based on gender. People who think a particular career belongs to the male gender. And there are people who still believe a woman should be put to death, beaten, scolded, chased out as a child just because of an action committed that simple communication could fix.</sub></p><p><sub>Here we are because inequality exists. </sub></p><p><sub><br/></sub></p><p><sub>The title might seem contradictory coming from a feminist like me until you delve into this with me. Whether we like it or not, a lot of women are still negotiating for basic rights to make decisions about their own body. Like Abortion, Cesarean-Section, Mutual Sex and the likes of them. A lot of women are still denied their rights to inherit properties even as a first child of the family. You see cases where a woman is not allowed to undergo a process without the due approval of a male in her life. It doesn't matter if she has to hire one to stand in for her. </sub></p><p><sub><br/></sub></p><p><sub>Feminism shouldn't have existed if prior to the year 1950 women were privileged to have a Harvard Law degree. If even after letting the first set of women into Harvard, —were prepared for them. If restrooms were created for women in Harvard. If the clinics (infirmary) was not only designed for men and male nurses. And lastly, if there were mirrors around. {You know what this means if you are a woman}. </sub></p><p><sub><br/></sub></p><p><sub>It wouldn't exist if I wasn't told to keep my virginity for an unknown man so he finds me worthy to be a wife. </sub></p><p><sub>If Akin controlled his hormones and didn't drag  Ronke into the bush to rape her to death. </sub></p><p><sub>If men were more disgusted with rape as they are with periods. </sub></p><p><sub>If Mr Jide in Oil and Gas Company, didn't buy the votes for promotion just so his opponent which is a woman wouldn't head him. Even though he knows she has all the qualities but him. </sub></p><p><sub><br/></sub></p><p><sub>If Nigerian men on twitter didn't quote "God forbid make I vote person wey dey bend down piss or bleed every every month as president". And many more.</sub></p><p><sub><br/></sub></p><p><sub>Feminism is not an exaggeration, it is a response to a system built against women. Just like I wouldn't keep quiet and watch my neighbor fence his house, and in the process, it extends to obstruct or discomfort my passway -making the road narrow for my movement. </sub></p><p><sub><br/></sub></p><p><sub>Let's bring this closer to home. I am an advocate for children's education, so therefore, i used the bulk of my waiting era for admission into he higher institution to look for job as a teacher in a secondary schools. I've taught in 2 secondary schools so far, and over 300+children in total have been put under my care. Everyday i stand in front of my students and I look at them and ask myself one question. Who decided that one of you will be greater than each other tomorrow?, who decided that one of you will be better than each other tomorrow?, who decided that one of you is more deserving than the other?. Because when I teach my children, when I chase them to the assembly ground and they respond in different manner, I do not see worth by gender, I don't give time to one and less to another. I don't grade one higher than the other. I use the same red pen to score different grades for each of them. I don't speak positivity into one and make the other shrink. I see potentials, possibilities and human beings. So I wonder, where this idea came from.</sub></p><p><sub><br/></sub></p><p><sub>This ideas have been reinforced by culture, society, systems and the expectations we do not question. Both men and women have participated in keeping this system alive. Sometimes by enforcing it. Sometimes by benefiting from it —and other times by keeping silent. </sub></p><p><sub><br/></sub></p><p><sub>Yes women have made extraordinary effort but we are not yet at a place where opportunity is neutral. So therefore, this movement cannot end. Because at it's core, feminism is not about superiority, it's not about replacing one imbalance with another. Feminism is about balance and fairness. So maybe one day the word feminism would be buried 6ft and forgotten like the dust. It will no longer be needed. But that day will only come when equality is no longer something we fight for but something we live in. </sub></p><p><sub><br/></sub></p><blockquote><sub>WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST! — not because it's a trend, not to belong, not because it's comfortable, but because it is still needed. </sub></blockquote><p><sub>And the question is not whether feminism should exist, but what are we actively/positively doing  to make sure that one d<span style="background-color: transparent;">ay it doesn't have to. </span></sub></p>

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Something nice to spice up your day and leave you thinking in another perspective about feminism. Tip me please.

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