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21
No reward for trying
<p>You began as a victory</p><p>no one remembers.</p><p><br/></p><p>A silent war in the dark—</p><p>a billion erased,</p><p>and you, by accident or insistence,</p><p>remained.</p><p><br/></p><p>That was your first lesson:</p><p>survival is not mercy.</p><p>It is selection.</p><p><br/></p><p>Since then, it has not stopped.</p><p><br/></p><p>You wake into effort.</p><p>You chew because hunger threatens.</p><p>You breathe because stopping is not an option.</p><p>Even your heartbeat—</p><p>a quiet, endless labor</p><p>you never agreed to.</p><p><br/></p><p>Everything you are</p><p>is maintained by force.</p><p><br/></p><p>And they call it life.</p><p><br/></p><p>They hand you rules early—</p><p>prove yourself,</p><p>earn your place,</p><p>become something</p><p>or risk becoming nothing.</p><p><br/></p><p>So you run.</p><p><br/></p><p>Through classrooms that measure your worth,</p><p>through jobs that rent your time,</p><p>through people who love you</p><p>only as long as you remain useful,</p><p>recognizable,</p><p>present.</p><p><br/></p><p>You gather things—</p><p>money, titles, moments,</p><p>small proofs that you existed correctly.</p><p><br/></p><p>But the body keeps a different clock.</p><p><br/></p><p>It is counting down</p><p>while you are counting up.</p><p><br/></p><p>Every breath you fight for</p><p>is one less.</p><p><br/></p><p>Every victory</p><p>quietly subtracts from you.</p><p><br/></p><p>And one day—</p><p>not dramatically,</p><p>not heroically—</p><p>just… eventually—</p><p><br/></p><p>you will stop.</p><p><br/></p><p>Mid-thought.</p><p>Mid-plan.</p><p>Mid-becoming.</p><p><br/></p><p>No conclusion.</p><p>No final understanding.</p><p><br/></p><p>Just absence.</p><p><br/></p><p>And everything you built—</p><p>everything you defended,</p><p>everything you thought was yours—</p><p><br/></p><p>remains behind,</p><p>untouched by your leaving.</p><p><br/></p><p>Your name will be spoken</p><p>a few more times than usual,</p><p>then less,</p><p>then not at all.</p><p><br/></p><p>The world will not pause.</p><p>It cannot afford to.</p><p><br/></p><p>And you—</p><p>after all the effort,</p><p>after all the trying—</p><p><br/></p><p>receive the same end</p><p>as the ones who never tried at all.</p><p><br/></p><p>A quiet burial.</p><p>A sealed box.</p><p>A body that no longer struggles.</p><p><br/></p><p>And for the first time,</p><p>you succeed</p><p>without effort—</p><p><br/></p><p>because there is nothing left</p><p>that requires you.</p><p><br/></p><p>So what was it for?</p><p><br/></p><p>Not legacy—</p><p>it fades.</p><p><br/></p><p>Not reward—</p><p>there is none waiting.</p><p><br/></p><p>Not even memory—</p><p>it erodes.</p><p><br/></p><p>Only this:</p><p><br/></p><p>You were here,</p><p>forced into motion,</p><p>taught to strive,</p><p>conditioned to continue—</p><p><br/></p><p>until continuation</p><p>was no longer possible.</p><p><br/></p><p>And that is all.</p><p><br/></p><p>No answer follows.</p><p><br/></p><p>Just the same silence</p><p>that existed</p><p>before you won</p><p>your first and final</p><p>fight.</p>
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