SUGARPLUM_PRINCESSS - by Nomshu Writes✨

sugar_plumprincesssThere was a time when sugar_plumprincesss was just a private Instagram account.A tiny corner of the internet where I could post whatever I wanted, disappear for three business days, stalk people in peace and return whenever I felt like it. I liked being mysterious. I liked the idea that people could know of me without actually knowing me.Honestly, I thought I was doing very well at being unknown.Then I got to 200 level.And somehow, through the very suspicious chain of events that is my life, I joined a team and was suddenly encouraged actually, practically forced to start posting more.At first, it was just content.Then people started recognizing me.Then people started following me.Then people started saying things like, “Wait, aren’t you sugar_plumprincesss?”And I would smile like 😊 while internally screaming, PLEASE, I HAVE A CIVILIAN IDENTITY.I started becoming a little popular around school and on social media, and the funny thing is that I didn't even know how to feel about it.I had always loved being mysterious. I liked existing quietly. I liked being the girl people weren't quite sure about.Suddenly, people knew my face.People knew my username.People had opinions.People were watching.And for a while, I genuinely didn't like it.I felt like the little private world I had built for myself was slowly becoming public property.But somewhere along the way, something changed.I started enjoying it.I started making more content. I started meeting people. I became more confident. I found myself becoming happier, louder, more willing to put myself out there.And I realized that maybe being seen wasn't such a terrible thing.The problem was that while my online life was slowly becoming more exciting, my academic life was looking at me like:“So we're just going to abandon me like this?”Because balancing school, content, teams, friendships, events, my little business ideas, writing, trying to have a social life and also trying to maintain some resemblance of sanity was HARD.There were days I felt like I was doing everything.There were also days I was doing absolutely nothing and just staring at TikTok for four hours like it had personally employed me.My academics and I have had a very complicated relationship.I wanted to be that girl who could create content, attend events, make friends, keep up with school, build something for herself and still wake up at 6 a.m. feeling spiritually and academically prepared.Unfortunately, I am human.And sometimes the girl behind sugar_plumprincesss is just tired, confused and trying to figure out what she's doing with her life.Which brings me to parties.My first proper party was an experience I will never forget because I genuinely looked like I had accidentally wandered into the wrong venue.Everyone seemed to understand the assignment.People were dressed up.People were dancing.People were taking pictures.People were networking.And me?I was eating.Then I was sitting down.Then I was sleeping.And at some point, I was wearing an oversized sweater looking like someone's younger sister who had been dragged outside against her will.I was literally the odd one out.But the funniest part is that I didn't even mind that much. 😂I think that was one of the first times I realized that maybe I didn't have to perform a version of myself just because everyone else seemed to know what they were doing.I could be the girl in the oversized sweater.The girl looking for food.The girl observing everybody from the corner.The girl who might disappear halfway through the event because her social battery had reached 1%.And somehow, that girl became sugar_plumprincesss.I remember meeting a guy at a party later on and he looked at me and went,“Awwww, you're sugar plum on Instagram! It's so lovely meeting you.”And I swear my brain paused.Because how do you explain that sugar plum is an actual person?A real human being?A girl who forgets things, procrastinates, gets overwhelmed, laughs too loudly, cries sometimes, dreams a lot, struggles with school, starts random business ideas, makes pancakes and puffcicles, worries about money, writes little pieces of her life on the internet and occasionally has absolutely no idea what she's doing?How do I explain that the girl on Instagram isn't some perfectly curated character?She's me.Just me, with better lighting sometimes.And maybe that's what this whole journey has really been about.I started this account because I wanted somewhere to exist quietly.Then life pushed me into being seen.I went from hiding behind a private account to having strangers recognize my username.From being nervous about posting to creating content.From avoiding attention to sometimes craving connection.From being the mysterious girl in the corner to somehow becoming the girl people know at school.And I'm still figuring out how to balance all of it.The creator. The student. The friend. The daughter. The business girl. The writer. The Jesus girl.The slightly chaotic girl who has approximately seventeen plans at any given moment and somehow still procrastinates on all of them.Maybe I don't want to be mysterious anymore.Maybe I just want to be understood.And maybe there's a difference.Because sugar_plumprincesss was never really a character.She was just the name I gave to this little version of myself that slowly grew up in public.And honestly?I don't think I would go back.Even if sometimes I miss being unknown.Even if sometimes being seen is scary.Even if sometimes I wish I could put on that oversized sweater, find a plate of food, sit quietly in the corner and disappear into the crowd again.Because somewhere between the awkward parties, the school stress, the content, the friendships, the random opportunities, the failures, the little wins and all the “OMG, you're sugar plum!” moments…I found a version of myself I actually like. And she's still becoming. Still learning. Still figuring it out. Still a little chaotic. Still eating at parties. Still probably wearing an oversized sweater. Just… with a public Instagram account now. 😭

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