The BNXN Heartbreak, Capri-Sun Therapy, and My Toxic Perfume Obsession

Let’s be real for a second. If you ask the average Nigerian to pick their ultimate music heavyweight, there is a long list of people who will automatically yell "Davido!" or "Wizkid!" or "Burna!" until their lungs give out.But then, there’s me. RR.I am the girl who will proudly, unashamedly pick BNXN (fka Buju) as my number one artist anytime of the day, any day of the week, and twice on Sundays. His voice does things to my spirit. His loops keep me sane when the University of Ibadan portal is acting up. He is my musical safe space.Until he decided to break my literal heart. The Great Benson HeartbreakWelcome aboard my lovelies, because on this episode of Rumpus Ramble, we need to talk about favorites, obsessions, and betrayal.I was genuinely, deeply, spiritually down when Buju Benson got back with his ex-girlfriend. Look, I know I am a Master’s student with a thesis to write. I know I have crystal beads to thread. I know I don't actually know this man in real life. But when the news dropped, my chest pained me.The delusion was shattered! I was mourning a relationship I wasn't even in.I tried everything to heal. I sat in my room, drained a chilled pouch of Capri-Sun, and when that didn't work, I literally walked into the perfume section of a supermarket just to smell thousands of perfumes to feel something... and naturally, ended up buying one. Because nothing screams "healing from a parasocial breakup" like an impulse fragrance purchase. Smelling Like a Million Naira (Even When Broqué)Speaking of scents... yup, I have a confession to make. I am utterly, deeply, dangerously obsessed with perfumesss.If you've been following my "Broqué and Fit" gym journey, you already know the struggle. Protein is expensive, data is expensive, and gym memberships require a small loan. But my fragrance budget? Sacred. Untouchable.There is a very specific type of dopamine rush that comes from matching a perfume note to your mood. Even when I’m trekking 5km to the Tamuno building in 100°C heat, smelling like vanilla, oud, and expensive rich-aunty energy makes me feel like I’m gliding past the bureaucracy instead of sweating through it.I might be balling on a student budget, but I refuse to smell like the struggles of a Master's project. The Fine Line Between Fan and Fragrance HoarderIs it healthy to balance a 50-series Netflix watchlist, a One Piece marathon, a bead business, a perfume addiction, and a parasocial attachment to a Nigerian Afro-fusion artist? Probably not. But as the good old chart says... Exactly. I am not perfect, but parts of my perfume collection (and my music taste) are pretty awesome.We all need our vices to survive the daily Nigerian grind. For some of you, it’s arguing on Twitter about who has the biggest fanbase. For me, it’s blasting In My Mind, smelling like a literal angel, and sipping Capri-Sun while pretending I’m not hurt by Daniel Benson's relationship status. Over to You:Let’s talk about your unhinged favorites. Who is that one celebrity whose relationship updates affect your real-life mood? And more importantly, are there any fellow fragrance hoarders in the building? What is your ultimate "go-to" scent when life is stressing you out?Drop your confessions in the comments. Let's judge each other lovingly.Heartbreak Expansion! (Currently drowning my sorrows in another purchase of perfume...) A Rumpus Ramble episode from your favourite,~RR

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