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Ameerah Abdulsalam Nigeria
Freelancer @ Attended University of Abuja
Abuja, Nigeria
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In Mental Health 2 min read
THE INK OF THE NIGHT:A survivor's Autopsy
<p><strong><em>Who am I?</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>I am the daughter of unfinished conversations </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>A child reassembled from fractured blue prints </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Raised between two storms </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>That never learned the language of sunshine </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>I AM THE BLUEPRINTS OF BROKEN </em></strong></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_3987.jpeg"/><strong><br/></strong></p><p><em><strong>who am I? </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I am the aftermath</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>The bruise left behind when love arrives with conditions </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>When affection is rationed like medicine </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>When a home becomes a museum </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Filled with things no one is allowed to touch </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Especially grief </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I AM THE MUSUEM OF DESPAIR </strong></em></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_3990.jpeg"/><em><strong><br/></strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Who am I? </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I am every door I locked twice </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Every shadow I mistook for danger</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Every heart beat that galloped through my ribs </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Like a horse fleeing a burning village</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>The psychologists would call it trauma </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I call it inheritance </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Because fear lived here long before I did </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I slept beneath floor boards</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Hid inside raised voices </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Crawled through hallways at midnights </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>And nested itself inside a little girl's nervous system </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Until terror became indistinguishable from instinct </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I AM THE DOORS LOCKED TWICE </strong></em></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_3986.jpeg"/><em><strong><br/></strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Who am I?</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I am every hand that touched my spirit without permission </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Every predator distinguished as a smile </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Every cruel reminder </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>That some people look at a woman's body </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>And mistake it for public property </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I carry fingerprints that cannot be photographed </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Wounds invisible to machines</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Scars stitched directly into memory</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I AM THE FINGERPRINTS ON THE SOUL</strong></em></p><p><strong><em><br/></em></strong></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_3988.jpeg"/><strong><em><br/></em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Who am I? </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>I am depression wearing human skin </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>A creature made of functioning falling apart </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>At exactly the same time </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>I AM THE FUNCTIONING COLLAPSE </em></strong></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_3991.jpeg"/><em style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><strong><br/></strong></em></p><p><em style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><strong>Who am i? </strong></em><br/></p><p><em><strong>I am every good bye I rehearsed but never performed </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Every dark thought</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>That sat patiently at the edge of the bed promising relief </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I AM UNPERFORMED GOODBYES </strong></em></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_4003.jpeg"/><em><strong><br/></strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Who am I ? </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I am anxiety chewing through electrical wires </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>A mind that never learnt how to switch itself out </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>A thousand alarms ringing simultaneously </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>A body preparing for disasters that have not happened </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>A heart convinced that catastrophe is always hiding around the next corner</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I AM WIRED FOR DISASTER </strong></em></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_3997.jpeg"/><em><strong><br/></strong></em></p><p><strong><em>Who am I? </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>I am not the girl the human the broke</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>I am the evidence </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>The crime scene that learned to speak </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>The ghost that kept breathing </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>The wound that developed a voice</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Every poem is an autopsy </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Every stanza is a confession </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Every metaphor a photograph of something survived </em></strong></p><p><strong><em>I AM THE SPEAKING CRIME SCENE </em></strong></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_3995.jpeg"/><strong><br/></strong></p><p><em><strong>Who am I ? </strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I am the darkness that picked up a pen and became unforgettable!</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>I AM THE INK MADE OF NIGHT</strong></em></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_3994.jpeg"/><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p>
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THE INK OF THE NIGHT:A survivor's Autopsy
By Ameerah Abdulsalam
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