Women are not Safe... - by Princess Chronicles

I'm not saying this because of something I read on Twitter. I'm not saying this because I watched a documentary. I'm not saying this because someone told me a story. I'm saying this from my own experience. And lately, I've been thinking about just how terrifying that is. A few months ago, I met someone who had been trying to see me for almost six months. He had gotten my number and kept asking to meet. Eventually, I agreed and I chose the place. We met, He bought suya on his way coming and I went home. I got home, dropped my bag and went downstairs to charge my phone. Then everything changed. For almost twelve hours, I was completely out of myself. I wasn't behaving like myself. I couldn't properly understand what was happening around me. I wasn't in control of my own body. Later, I found out that the suya I had eaten had been tampered with. He had deliberately put drugs in something I ate. The simple act of trust could have cost me my life. And somehow, the world still expects women to hear stories like this and simply say: “Be careful.”Be careful where you go. Be careful what you wear. Be careful who you meet. Be careful what you eat. Be careful who you trust. Be careful when you walk home. Be careful when you enter a taxi. Be careful at parties. Be careful at interviews. Be careful around strangers. Be careful. Be careful. Be careful. At what point do we ask the person who actually intends to hurt someone not to hurt them? And then, just recently, something else happened. I was walking on the road when I noticed someone behind me. You know that feeling? Someone is walking behind you, and you instinctively look back. I did. It was a young boy probably between 13 and 15. He is not even old enough to understand the weight of what he was doing. Then, in a matter of seconds, he sexually violated me by grabbing my buttocks with both hands. I turned around. I chased him. I was so angry that I took off after him with my slippers in my hand. And I fell very hard and I suffered multiple injuries. And afterward, I kept thinking: What exactly are women supposed to do with all of this? Because these things don't always look like the stories people expect. You could get a comment that makes your skin crawl. Someone following you home. Someone refusing to accept no. Someone drugging your food. Someone touching you because they think your body is public property. Someone sexualizing you because of how you look. And you go home afterward and tell yourself: “At least it wasn't worse.” But something still changed inside you. That is trauma too. It changes how you trust. How you move. How you look behind you when you're walking. How you enter rooms. How you meet people. How quickly you calculate exits. How you respond when someone offers you food. How you think about bringing a daughter into this world. And that's the part people don't always understand. Sometimes, nothing “big enough” happens for people to call it trauma. But your body remembers. Your mind remembers. You remember. And no, this is not a conversation about feminism versus anti-feminism. This is about being human. It's about women being able to exist without constantly calculating the possibility of being harmed. Women are not always helping women either. Sometimes we teach each other how to endure what we should have been taught to leave. Stay because you're married. Stay because of the children. Stay because what will people say? Stay because no marriage is perfect. Stay because every man cheats. Stay because you're getting old. Stay because who will marry you again? And somehow, society can make a woman feel more ashamed of leaving a bad situation than the person who created the situation. I've learned something early enough: I have to choose myself. My safety. My education. My financial independence. My ability to think for myself. My mental strength. My ability to leave. My ability to say no. My ability to recognize when something doesn't feel right. And yes, I believe women should learn how to protect themselves. Have emergency contacts. Know how to get help. Have lawful, practical means of self-protection available to them where appropriate. Know where they're going. Trust their instincts. Leave when something feels wrong. The world has not yet become safe enough for us to stop preparing for danger. And that's the part that breaks my heart. A woman can do everything right and still be harmed. She can dress modestly. She can dress provocatively. She can be married. She can be single. She can be religious. She can be educated. She can be careful. She can be someone's daughter. Someone's wife. Someone's mother. Someone's sister. And still, someone can decide that her body is theirs to touch. That is the problem. So yes, I will continue telling women to get educated. To build careers. To have their own money. To develop healthy minds. To learn boundaries. To know when to walk away. To protect themselves. We deserve the ability to survive in a country that has not yet learned how to keep us safe. I want women to live aware. Women are not safe. And pretending otherwise won't make us safer. We need to talk about it

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