AT WHAT COST? - by Catalyst ✍️

A guy took a lady to a fancy restaurant, and the lady asked, “Have you been here before?” The guy smiled, acting nonchalantly, and replied with a smile on his face, “Yeah, couple of times. (The …) He mentioned a British meal. “It’s not really impressive.” The lady was like, “Ohh!” Then she said, “I don’t think we have things in common. I don’t feel comfortable in this kind of place. My first time here.” The guy smiled and said, “Me too. My first time. I just feel like this is the kind of place people take people to.” Then the scene changed. They were in a street shop, eating in a rural area, with beautiful smiles on their faces. This really got me thinking. What if the lady had pretended too? What if she had smiled and said, “Oh, I come here all the time,” even though she had never stepped into a place like that before? What if the guy had continued pretending that he was used to fancy restaurants, expensive meals, and a lifestyle he could barely afford to maintain? They might have gone on a few more dates, both trying to impress each other with lives that did not exist. Eventually, one of them would have to crack. Not necessarily because they were poor. Not because they could never afford the life. But because you cannot maintain the currency of pretence forever. You will eventually get tired of paying for a life you are only pretending to live. And this is not just about relationships. Sometimes, we are so afraid of being rejected that we become someone else just to be accepted. We hide the things we love, exaggerate what we have, pretend to understand what we don't, and dress our lives in borrowed clothes just so someone will think we belong. But what happens when they fall in love with the version of you that you created? You will have to keep performing. And the worst part is, they may not even be in love with you. They are in love with the character you played so well. So what are we afraid of? Why can't you just come clean? Tell them you have never been there before. Tell them you don't know what that meal is. Tell them you would rather sit at a roadside spot with a plate of rice than spend money trying to look like someone you are not. Tell them the truth. That you are still figuring things out. That you don't have everything together. That sometimes, your confidence is just you trying not to look scared. That you are not ashamed of where you are, even if you are not yet where you want to be. And if they leave? Yes. Let them leave. Because anyone who walks away simply because you refused to pretend has probably done you a favour. Your own person is still out there. Someone who will not need you to speak with a borrowed accent, eat with borrowed confidence, or live on a borrowed lifestyle just to feel comfortable beside you. Someone who will sit with you at that little street shop, take a bite of whatever is on the table, laugh when the pepper attacks, and still look at you like you are the best thing they have seen all day. So stop auditioning for love. You are not a product waiting to be approved. Be honest about where you are. The right person may not be impressed by the restaurant. They may just be happy they found you.

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