Diary of a blind girl. ❤️

I was born blind..well in one eye..I'll leave you to guess which one it is.I always thought it was normal as a kid. I thought that every human could only see with one eye..until I talked about it one day..I was 8 at that time... And I and my siblings were having a random conversation..I couldn't really remember what we were talking about but it had to do with the human body..Something about the five senses, I think.My sister was recounting the exercise their teacher had made them do in class.She said she had asked each of them to close one of their eyes while she put up random numbers of her fingers and asked them to tell her what the number was.My sister suggested we do it at home and we did..They went first.. putting up random numbers with their fingers up and asking "what number is this?"It was fun...Till it was my turn..I was asked to cover one of my eyes with my hand and tell what number they were holding up, what they were doing. I got every one correct. So I was asked to cover the other one..and I did."What number is this?" My sister asked."I don't know" i said..and I didn't...I couldn't see my sister's face...I could only make out a blurry silhouette in front of me."Liarrr" they laughed..but I wasn't laughing..I genuinely couldn't see anything.."You just want mummy to take you to the hospital" my other sister said..First of all, I hate hospitals. Secondly, I'm not that kind of child. Rather, that was her. She was projecting. Lol.After a long argument, I met my mum and told her that I couldn't see with one of my eyes.She didn't believe me too. Until she conducted a test on her own. Same thing "how many fingers am I holding up?"At that point, I was tired of that game or whatever it was.Only if I knew how many more was coming.The next day, my parents took me to the hospital. Gwagwalada teaching hospital in Abuja.God! I hated that place. The smell of disinfectants and whatever.There were so many people...and most of them looked scary.. like ghosts.When we finally got to see a doctor...I had almost collapsed.I went through the "how many fingers am I holding up" series way too many times than I could count. It was exhausting.I had a torch pointed directly into my eyes a lot too. There was no way I was going to come back to that. After series of tests and conversations with my parents with big words that I couldn't understand..we were finally on our way home.I can remember seating in the back seat if my father's car, my dad driving and my mum In the passenger seat. My mum was crying...and my dad was consoling her.When we got home, I was treated like a queen....for a long time...Our next appointment, the doctor prescribed some drugs and eye drops and gave some advice...on the kinds of food I should eat, I can remember him talking about staying away from garri (hell no), limited screen and TV time, and other things..I was closely monitored by my family since then.When I was 9, I got glasses..I hated it.It was square shaped with a long rope that was attached to both handles and cascaded down the back of my neck. I looked ridiculous.My parents were strict about putting it on all at all times. My form teacher too.My classmates made fun of me for years.When I was ten, in one of my appointments, the doctor suggested surgery. That I had developed a cataract in the already defective eye. My mum adherently disagreed. She wasn't going to go back on her word no matter what the doctor or my dad said.And so I continued the circle of drugs- eye drops - appointments.Until 2020.I had to have the cataract surgery, or It was going to develop into a glaucoma (partial blindness).I was 12 when I had my first surgery.For the surgery, I was referred to the national eye hospital in Kaduna.It was my first time on a train. I was ecstatic..and terrified. After seeing the doctor, I was admitted and booked for the surgery the next morning.It was a major surgery cause my anesthesia didn't wear off till the evening of that day.I think it was a 5 hour surgery.When I went for my post-op follow up, I knew something was wrong with the way the doctor's face dropped after she examined the eye.I can remember she was a senior doctor and that she only came to the hospital on Mondays so we were told that we were lucky to see her.I can remember the frown that creased her brows as she stared at the scan."Madam" she said to my mother.."The cataract surgery was successful" a slight pause and then she continued " there's something we didn't quite detect in our scan before.. which is because of the cataract, because as you know it like a blockage to the lens. Now that it is out, we have detected that she has a damage to her retina, a tear on the retina and there's a clot around the retina too. So she'll need another surgery" my mother was speechless. The look in her eyes was heartbreaking and at that moment, I felt like such a burden.After she had a mini break down there and was comforted by the doctor...She further explained " I have only ever handled one of such cases but I'm sure I can help her" and my mum asked when the next surgery was.The doctor suggested that I let the first completely heal for about a year before I undergo the second one.I completely switched to this hospital btw so for the next year, I went there for check ups..to Kaduna. When I was 13, I had the second surgery.It was more complicated than the first so it was a lot longer and there was more anxiety.I was discharged after a week.My post-op examination stated that I was good to go and that with time, my vision would get clearer. They also changed the prescription of my glasses.After that, my parents decided that we couldn't visit Kaduna regularly anymore because of the insecurity then. Because the that was the time the Abuja - Kaduna railway attack happened. You probably would have heard of it. It was quite a big headline.I started going to one private hospital in Abuja for check ups..Actually, I only had about 2 sessions there before they referred us back to the teaching hospital in Gwagwalada.By this time, my parents were already tired. It was draining them financially and mentally and they couldn't handle it anymore, they were also kind of neglecting my siblings because they were so focused on me so they had to take some time off.That was 2022 btw. I didn't have another eye checkup till 2026.And through those 4 years, I lied.I lied that my vision was better.I lied that I could see clearer.But I couldn't.It was worse.I had migraines way too often, even if I used my glasses as frequently as I could.My other eye was also going bad. I knew it but I didn't say anything.Because I didn't want to be a burden.Three months ago, I visited a clinic to change my glasses with my mum.I had to be examined because my mum suggested that I might need a new prescription.I went in alone for the examination....I knew it even before the doctors said anything..the eye was destroyed.The look on their faces told me everything I needed to know.They checked the other one.And one of them asked me "where did you get these glasses from?" I told him...And he said the prescription wasn't right and that they only put corrective lens on the defective side was heavier than the other but they should have balanced it . Because the other one now was failing due to the pressure of being the only working eye.They asked my mum to give them a history of all the procedures I've had. And she did.They felt really bad because we've been through so much. Too much.At the end of the day, they gave me a new prescription and said to come back in the next week. I didn't.I told my mum I was fine and that I didn't need to. And maybe one day, I'll eventually go blind or maybe I'll get better but for now, I'll continue to see the most beautiful things so that if and when I go blind completely, I won't really have any regrets.Btw, if you guessed that the defective eye is the right one, then you're correct.I think it's pretty obvious though. It has always been squinted.

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