Time Travel In His Bed - by Doubra✍🏾

Her So, has someone ever broken your heart on New Year’s Eve? Well, it happened to me on the 24th of December, 2019—on a Tuesday, if I remember correctly. He wore a purple jacket. We were in winter, but my heart was somewhere between summer and autumn—trapped in the shackles of betrayal that dimmed a light that suddenly felt so far away. Love is sweet, but when there’s betrayal, the light becomes distant. I knew I could see clearly, yet I was still searching for light. In the lowest tone, I ended it—a relationship that stripped me of parts of who I thought I was. Maybe I let you define me… my existence, my story. Aside from the epidemic, your memories spread through me like a virus. I was caught between time zones—reality and what could have been. The beautiful future we dreamed of almost cost me my sanity. You broke a heart that wasn’t fully formed—a little girl’s dream. They say a man can take a woman’s dignity when he violates her. You didn’t take advantage of my body, but my mind… my mind was violated. Exams were coming, but my heart had already stopped functioning. Maybe I was just another girl you promised the world to…but you shattered the one I built. Now, I find it hard to trust anyone. How am I supposed to love him when I don’t even love who I am? How do I pour into someone when I am empty? You took. You broke. You shattered. It was something in and out—without sex—yet it felt like dying while still alive. Maybe now I pour everything into work, because love started to feel like a scam. You didn’t stop me from loving you, even when you knew I was too young. I thought we’d get married. Travel the world. Spend hours talking while waiting for our parents to come home, and when we weren’t talking, we’d send letters to each other. Did you take advantage of me?Was it abuse?Or did I just wake up to sanity?Love was meant to be pure. He is in my life now… but I can’t let him get close.He’s not going to hurt me—but right now, my biggest fear is hurting myself. Him She’s so young. She’s free-spirited. She loves me so much. And me? I just failed college. What kind of future can I give her? She’s my little girl. I want to give her the world. She’ll need closure… but how do I give her that?She won’t understand. She just got into high school. Life is still uncertain. Maybe she’ll get over me when she meets younger guys. How do I love you when I’m shattered within? No business. No direction. Just the weight of feeling like a failure. I don’t want that for her. So maybe… I have to let her go.

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