‎Trying to Unlove You - by Shuliê

‎Trying to Unlove You‎Chapter 2 : The Truth I Never Told You‎He decided to explain everything to me.The reason why the love we shared is slowly disappearing. My part was just to pay attention while he spoke ; "You once asked me why I kept pushing you away.‎You thought it was because of our age.‎You thought I didn't love you enough to fight for us.‎‎I wish it were that simple.‎‎The truth is... it was never really all about your age.‎‎It was also about me.‎‎It was also about a heart that had been broken so badly that it no longer knew how to trust love.‎‎You came into my life when I was still trying to gather the pieces of a heart someone else had shattered. You saw me smile, laugh, tease you, and care for you.‎But what you never saw were the nights I questioned whether I deserved to be loved again.‎‎You once told me, 'If you really loved me, you wouldn't keep pushing me away.'‎‎I wanted to tell you the truth. Many times, I almost did. But I was afraid.‎Afraid that if you knew the man behind the smile, you would walk away too. So I hid behind excuses.‎‎I blamed the age difference. I convinced myself that letting you go was the right thing to do.‎‎I told myself you deserved someone whose heart wasn't carrying scars.‎‎But every time I tried to walk away... my heart found its way back to you.‎‎Maybe it's time you knew why. Maybe it's time I stopped hiding. Because long before I met you... ‎There was someone else.‎She wasn't just my girlfriend. She was my best friend. ‎We grew up together. We watched each other grow from carefree children into young adults with dreams that seemed too big for the little world around us. Somewhere between our childhood laughter and our teenage years, friendship quietly became love.‎‎It wasn't something we planned.‎‎It simply happened.‎‎One day she was just my best friend.‎‎The next, she had become the person I wanted to spend every moment with.‎‎I trusted her with <a class="tc-blue" href="https://everything.She" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">everything.She </a> knew my strengths. She knew my flaws. She knew the parts of me I never showed anyone else.‎I believed that no matter what life threw at us, we would always find our way back to each other.‎‎I was wrong.‎‎Like every relationship, we had <a class="tc-blue" href="https://disagreements.We" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">disagreements.We </a> weren't perfect.‎‎There were things I did that she didn't like, and there were things she did that hurt me too.‎But I always believed love meant talking.‎I believed that when something was wrong, we would sit down, look each other in the eyes, and fix it together.‎Instead...‎She chose silence. The things that bothered her never reached me. She spoke to other people before she spoke to me. She listened to opinions about me before asking me for my own side of the story.‎People who knew nothing about our relationship suddenly had so much to <a class="tc-blue" href="https://say.Rumours" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">say.Rumours </a> spread. Conversations happened behind my back.‎‎Little by little, the girl who once promised to always stand beside me began believing voices that weren't mine.‎The painful part wasn't that people talked. People will always talk. The painful part was that she believed them without giving me the chance to explain.‎I kept waiting for her to ask me.‎To call me.‎To say, "Tell me the truth."‎‎That moment never came.‎‎Instead...‎‎She chose to walk away.‎‎Just like that.‎‎No conversation.‎‎No explanation.‎‎No chance to defend myself.‎‎No chance to fight for the love we had built over the years.‎I remember staring at my phone for days, hoping she'd call.‎Every notification made my heart race.‎Every message that wasn't from her felt like another disappointment.‎‎I replayed every memory in my mind, wondering where everything went wrong.‎‎Maybe if I had noticed earlier...‎‎Maybe if I had tried harder...‎‎Maybe if she had only listened...‎‎But "maybe" never changed reality.‎‎The relationship was over.‎‎For the first time in my life, I experienced a pain I didn't know how to describe.‎‎People called it heartbreak.‎‎To me...‎‎It felt like losing a part of myself.‎‎I smiled whenever people were around.‎‎I laughed when my friends made jokes.‎‎I answered everyone with, "I'm fine."But I wasn'<a class="tc-blue" href="https://t.The" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">t.The </a> smile was fake.‎The laughter was forced.‎Every night, when the world became quiet, the memories returned.‎‎I questioned myself over and over again.‎‎"Was I really that bad?"‎‎"Did she ever truly love me?"‎‎"Why didn't she trust me enough to hear my side?"‎‎Those questions became my daily companions.‎‎I stopped recognizing the person staring back at me in the mirror.‎‎I wasn't angry with her.‎‎I was disappointed.‎‎Disappointed that someone who knew me better than anyone else chose to believe strangers instead of believing me.‎‎That betrayal left a scar no one could see.‎‎Weeks passed.‎‎Then months.‎‎Everyone thought I was getting better.‎‎The truth was...‎‎I had simply become good at pretending.‎‎I buried myself in work.‎‎I stayed around people so no one would notice the emptiness inside me.‎‎I smiled so often that people believed I had moved on.‎‎But when the lights went out and I was left alone with my thoughts...‎‎The silence reminded me that I had lost more than a girlfriend.‎‎I had lost my safe place.‎‎And for the first time in my life...‎‎Healing felt impossible.‎‎To be continued...‎written by Shuliê -ink 🖋️ in‎

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