I am not okay - Moodswings - by Mimi🥀🌬️

‎It's surprising how we can go from laughing and having the best time to suddenly going quiet.‎‎Heads bent over our phones, seeking comfort.‎‎I could be laughing this minute and, all of a sudden, want to be alone.‎‎I could be dancing and vibing, and the next minute I just want everyone to leave me alone.‎‎Everyone experiences mood swings at some point.‎‎It's said some are triggered by stress, heartbreak, anxiety, grief...‎‎I honestly don't know where I belong.‎‎How do I explain that I want attention but, at the same time, I want distance?‎‎How do I explain that I love you loudly... but not all the time?‎‎How do I explain that my mood can remain the same for four hours and still change within five minutes?‎‎Sometimes life hits you so hard that it feels like you need a new pair of lenses. ‎‎You can't do anything but just... Exist.‎‎Sigh.‎‎Somebody stopped posting for a while, and you concluded,‎‎"They're just trying to act mature."‎‎But if you were to walk a mile in their shoes, I'm not sure they'd even fit.‎‎I once read about a girl who constantly posted her flashy lifestyle online. To everybody watching, she looked like someone who had life all figured out.‎‎Then one day, people noticed she stopped posting for almost 2 weeks.‎‎Since she belonged to this community where people genuinely checked up on one another and y'know connect, after some days of hearing nothing from her, they decided to visit.‎‎And then...‎‎They found her dead. Her corpse was what welcomed them.‎‎She had taken her own life.‎‎How does the dead explain that they weren't ignoring you?‎‎That life had been torturing them behind those smiling pictures?‎‎How does someone rise from the dead just to tell you they were only a shadow walking through life, not the happy person social media convinced you they were?‎<img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/bb17d05b733c8e39c021bf8fa38148a6.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;"/>‎How well do we really know the people around us?‎‎Or are we simply living on assumptions?‎‎Maybe they didn't want to burden you with their feelings.‎‎Maybe they thought you'd call them childish.‎‎Maybe they'd be seen as weird.‎‎Or immature and too much.‎‎At the end of the day, all we truly have is ourselves.‎‎People often say we should fall in love with ourselves.‎‎Now it almost feels like everyone is so busy loving themselves that empathy is slowly disappearing.‎‎No more genuine concern.‎‎No more sincere feelings.‎‎Just nonchalance.‎‎Just pretence.‎‎That friend you're constantly pressuring might be battling depression.‎‎<img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/9e11fe7ef87c186121782a2d24412a55.jpg"/>The friend you're always judging for "not getting it right" may have spent years being bullied.‎‎The child you keep yelling at might secretly hate themselves.‎‎The friend who suddenly became distant may have simply overthought the relationship and how emotionally invested they had become.‎‎People don't just become cold overnight.‎‎With the little knowledge of psychology I've gained, I've come to understand that people can change.‎‎They can change when they're deeply loved.‎‎They can change when they're lonely.‎‎They can change when they feel unloved.‎‎They can even change when they feel misunderstood.‎‎We sometimes underestimate the human mind and how quickly it gathers incomplete information, then presents it as fact.‎‎Sometimes all it takes is communication.‎‎Other times, understanding.‎‎And sometimes... simply letting someone know,‎‎"I see you."‎‎And that brings me to these thoughts.‎‎What if it isn't actually mood swings?‎‎What if it's fear?‎‎Fear of attachment.‎‎Fear of rejection.‎‎Fear of loneliness.‎‎FOMO.‎‎Sometimes those fears become so overwhelming that a person simply goes numb.‎‎Emotionless.‎‎Detached.‎‎Convincing themselves they don't need anyone.‎‎And so they withdraw.‎‎They create distance.‎‎Then come the intrusive thoughts.‎‎What if they change later?‎<img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/bd0099718702a5056a70178b265f188e.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;"/>‎What if everything they're showing me is just another performance?‎‎It's almost as if my mind keeps searching for answers to questions I asked long before I even got to know them.‎‎Perhaps this person will leave too, just like the rest.‎‎But when they stay a little longer...‎‎Something unsettles inside me.‎‎Then I begin to wonder if I should push them away first.‎‎Maybe if they stop liking me, my mind will finally get the proof it has been searching for.‎‎Maybe I'm overthinking.‎‎Maybe I'm going crazy.‎‎Or maybe...‎‎I'm just human.‎‎I know mood swings are valid.‎‎But I have a feeling mine are a little different.‎‎Still, I hope I meet those genuine souls who understand me...‎‎And this time,‎‎I hope...I really hope I don't chase them away.‎

Other insights from Mimi🥀🌬️

Referral Earning

Points-to-Coupons