Don't give out your child. - by Mimi🥀🌬️

Whatever we give you in this house, you should be grateful because you cannot afford it. Where is your mother? In the village. She cannot even dream of living in a place like this. She couldn't train you, which is why you are here... as a house girl. So you must obey me."‎‎"Idiot!"‎‎"Animal!"‎‎"Stupid girl!"‎‎Just another normal day in the house of my next-door neighbour.‎‎A family of three and a slave child named Jennifer.‎‎I am writing about this not because these hostile and degrading behaviours towards house helps are not common, but because of the devastating effects they have on the child.‎‎The mentality.‎‎The emotional scars.‎‎The negative changes in behaviour.‎‎The consequences that still lingers long after the child has left that environment.‎‎Why give birth to three children when you can only adequately cater for one?‎‎Why give birth to five when you can only care for three?‎‎What guarantee do you have that the so-called uncle or aunt you entrust your child to is treating them like a human being?‎‎Jennifer is just a young girl of 14.‎‎Every day, I sit in my room, my ears almost numb to the endless screaming, insults, and beatings directed towards this girl.‎Jennifer is the gateman.‎‎She is the house help.‎Also the cook.‎Three-in-one package.‎‎One day, my sister and I sat talking amidst the usual banter and commotion from over the fence when we heard a loud crash.‎‎Then shouting followed...‎‎"I will beat you until you faint and wake you up with water! You're a goat! An ungrateful child! You're nothing without me..."‎‎The insults continued.‎‎I just sat there. Pressed with anger and feeling powerless to help the innocent girl. But then, after much observation and reflection, every finger points in one direction.‎The parents.‎‎I would love to place the blame on them.‎Why?‎‎Are you uneducated, or are you simply ignorant and careless about what becomes of your child?‎‎How much do you understand environmental factors that shape a child's development?‎‎Do you understand how important it is for a child to be mentally and emotionally healthy?‎‎For a child to endure constant humiliation.‎‎To be reminded every day that she is of little worth.‎‎To be treated as though she were disposable.‎‎For a child to survive on crumbs and be expected to show gratitude while watching others enjoy the full meal. (This by the way affects their choices even when grown).‎‎For a child to be psychologically conditioned to believe she has no future.‎‎For a child to become vulnerable prey to predators.‎‎For a child to develop low self-esteem, chronic self-doubt, and a deeply rooted sense of not being "good enough".‎‎For a child to grow up believing that love must be earned through suffering or being nice.‎‎For a child to become accustomed to abuse and mistake it for normalcy.‎‎The list goes on and on.‎‎To what end?‎‎To my fellow young women and parents reading this:‎‎We all know poverty is painful, hardship is real and raising children is expensive.‎‎But please, before bringing a child into this world, ask yourself whether you are truly prepared for the responsibility.‎‎And if circumstances force you to leave your child in another person's care, do not abandon your duty as a parent. Ask questions. Visit them often. Pay attention. Listen carefully to what your child is not saying. Body language sometimes speaks louder than words.‎‎A child is not a burden to be transferred.‎‎A child is not free labour.‎‎A child is not a debt to be paid off.‎‎A child is a human being.‎‎One whose mind is still forming.‎‎One whose heart is still learning what love looks like.‎‎One whose future can either be built or broken by the people entrusted with their care.‎‎Before you give out your child, make sure you are not unknowingly giving away their voice, their confidence, their innocence, and sometimes... their entire future.

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