I WAS CHANGING WHILE I WAS BUSY LIVING

Looking back I have come to the realization of how much I have changed Not suddenly but slowly Changes that add value though While I'm busy with school life, meeting people, chasing goals and just dealing with life generally I'm becoming a version of me that needs no approval or validation A version that chooses me even when the world says no A version that loves without losing her self A version that knows achieving her goals is non-negotiable The younger me had a different understanding of life When I used to think waking up early and doing chores while preparing for school was punishment When I believed strict laws were just wickedness displayed in black and white Also, when I would feel sad when my mum would ask me to join in the kitchen was just her preventing me from playing with my mates Now every minute means a lot to me. I treat time as gold compared to when I thought working with time was punishmentIn whatever setting I'm in I've learnt to abide by every law without shrinking ( provided abiding by such law doesn't mean doing something wrong)I walk into the kitchen myself without feeling down and now I want to build my world in it Certain experiences made me change quietly:Meaningful conversations where a statement would cause me to pause and think Where a word would immediately get me curious Disappointments have made me realize how I always need to have a backup plan Responsibilities have made me understand I need to be accountable for my actions Friendships have made known how having people with the positive mindset and possibility spirits makes you feel fulfilled Experiences have shaped me without me realizing it at that time Reading the room has become something I do effortlessly I know when to speak When to stay quiet When to walk away When to try again I have a proper understanding of my likes, dislikes, values, dreams, ambitions and boundaries. I have also come to accept that not all growth feels good. Sometimes growth comes with outgrowing people you believed were meant to stay forever and habits you thought were naturalIt comes with changing dreams you thought your life was centered around, It comes with letting go of a version of you that who you're becoming doesn't align with Everyday had a lesson it taught even moments that seemed insignificantI don't need to have figured everything out before realizing my becoming is still a part of the growth. I feel grateful for how far I have come and I know there's more.What I knew in the past was what I lived with and now I know better which means I can only keep becoming betterAs I so was busy living each day, something in me was changing *Growth is probably not a moment we can point to; it could simply be just waking up one day and realizing you're no longer the person you used to be that didn't know and understand much*

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