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Ameerah Abdulsalam Nigeria
Freelancer @ Attended University of Abuja
Abuja, Nigeria
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In Mental Health 2 min read
In your next life would you still want your mom?
<p><em>In all honesty,  </em></p><p><em>My answer is... no.  </em></p><p><em>Not because she wasn’t a good mom, but because she’s not the mom I need.</em></p><p><em><br/></em></p><p><em>Hi... my name is Hannah salamani</em></p><p><em>As you all know me, I am funny, obviously 🤷‍♀️... sweet.  </em></p><p><em>Charming as hell, and also I’m a spec hehe in Cardi B’s voice.  </em></p><p><em>Now, back to the subject of the matter:  </em></p><p><em>“In another life, would I want my mom?”</em></p><p><em><br/></em></p><p><em>Like I said, my answer still remains no.  </em></p><p><em>Not because she’s not a good mom she’s a great mom, trust me but she’s not the mom that I need. My reasons are...</em></p><p><em><br/></em></p><p><em>Firstly:</em></p><p><em>You know that saying that goes like this: "the saddest people laugh most."</em></p><p><em>Yep, that’s me.  </em></p><p><em>In as much as I have very, very unique qualities duh , the truth is... I am sad.  </em></p><p><em>It’s funny, right? 😅  </em></p><p><em>I’ve been battling with depression since I was 18. Yes, 18.  </em></p><p><em>It started because of a heartbreak from a guy she warned me about, and when the heartbreak happened, I blamed myself.  </em></p><p><em>I had no one to talk to. Not even my sister. She was there, but not in the way I wanted.  </em></p><p><em>Then there’s my mom. I needed a mom’s comfort. Not because I wanted to tell her how I felt, but because I just needed my mom. That warmth. That closure.  </em></p><p><em>Lol, I couldn’t get it. And the moment I try, she becomes so judgmental.  </em></p><p><em>She’s one of the reasons I can’t openly express how I feel. I’d rather stay quiet.</em></p><p><em><br/></em></p><p><em>Another reason is:</em></p><p><em>My own mother has termed me a “failure.”  </em></p><p><em>Yep. She said it three times. This was around March 2022.  </em></p><p><em>I was still struggling to cope with school and everything else.  </em></p><p><em>I needed my mom, but yeah... that’s what I got instead.</em></p><p><em><br/></em></p><p><em>Another reason is:</em></p><p><em>When it comes to taking sides lol, leave it.  </em></p><p><em>My mom does it a lot. And guess what? She’s part of the reason why, till today, my sisters still do not understand the difference between respect and being playful.</em></p><p><em><br/></em></p><p><em>There’s this thing people say when it comes to first daughters:  </em></p><p><em>"Oh, you’re the senior. Try to endure."</em></p><p><em>For the past 22 years of my life, I’ve been enduring the shit. Sigh.  </em></p><p><em>I might be that “happy Hannah” you see,  </em></p><p><em>But deep down, I’m broken as f**k. I’m practically losing my mind. It’s not even a joke 😂😂💔</em></p><p><em><br/></em></p><p><em>All in all,</em></p><p><em>All I just want is a mom.  </em></p><p><em>The only thing that consoles me is an imaginary friend in my head.  </em></p><p><em>I have a lot of people around me, but... genuinely, I still feel alone. Very much alone.</em></p><p><em><br/></em></p><p><em>But either way, I still wish her the best in another life.  </em></p><p><em>And I genuinely hope we do cross paths as strangers.</em></p>
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In your next life would you still want your mom?
By Ameerah Abdulsalam
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Ps : if you read twice you'd know you Hannah is😉it was really hard for her to write this though

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