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158
Learning to Breathe Again
<p>I picked up smoking to silence the noise in my mind, seeking a moment of peace amid exams and a heart that refused to heal.</p><p>Each inhalation offered an illusion— believing I could exhale the pain and that loneliness would fade with a cigarette's glow.</p><p>For a time, I believed in this escape.</p><p>The exams ended, and the results were favourable. Life gradually seemed to loosen its hold on me.</p><p>She even returned, reaching across the distance to mend what was broken.</p><p>But somewhere along the way, my escape started waiting for me, calling out long after the pain had begun to fade, holding onto me.</p><p>So I stopped.</p><p>Friday was the last time.</p><p>Now, Tuesday looms, representing four days of choosing myself over the comfort that once owned me.</p><p>It hasn't been easy.</p><p>Food feels unfamiliar; hunger arrives, but appetite doesn't follow. I survive on small sips, acts of endurance, quiet victories unseen by others.</p><p>I left my room to stay with my brother- not because I was weak, but because sometimes strength looks like distance.</p><p>Sometimes courage isn't fighting alone.</p><p>The cravings persist, and memories whisper.</p><p>But each morning that I wake without reaching for smoke, I remember something crucial:</p><p>The exams are done, heartbreak is healing, life is settling.</p><p>I refuse to exchange the peace I've found for the prison I almost called comfort.</p><p>And today, like yesterday,</p><p>I choose not to go back.</p>
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