Throes of Survival( A limiting Mindset! 👓 🧠 )

Hi, it’s The Jotter Keeper, and this officially marks my 30th Insight on Twocents. I’ve always heard that celebrating the little wins is what opens the door to bigger ones. If that’s true, then here’s me celebrating this one. Growing up Nigerian came with a lot of lessons—some beautiful, some necessary, and some… limiting. Not because our parents wanted to hold us back, but because they wanted us to survive. The problem is, survival and growth don’t always speak the same language. Many of us inherited mindsets that kept us safe but also kept us small. They made us hesitant, overly cautious, and sometimes afraid to pursue the very things we wanted. Let me share a few of them. <blockquote>I have a feeling you’ll recognize yourself in almost every one.</blockquote>UNO: The Culture of “Don’t” Remember those phone calls from home? “Don’t stay out too late.” “Don’t forget where you’re coming from.” “Don’t do too much.” “Be careful.” At first glance, they sound like love—and they are. But over time, they quietly teach us something else: avoid risk. We grow up believing that every opportunity carries more danger than possibility. So when someone invests their savings into a business, we panic. When someone relocates to another state or country, we worry. When someone chooses an unconventional career path, we assume they’re making a mistake. Not because we’ve evaluated the risk—but because we’ve been conditioned to fear it. Maybe that’s why your parents discouraged that trip. Why they didn’t want you taking that flight. Why that interview requiring relocation suddenly became “not worth it.” Anything that moved you too far from what felt familiar was seen as unsafe. Eventually, that fear becomes ours. Even when our friends take calculated risks and succeed, we’re still tempted to say, “No, I’m fine where I am.” Sometimes caution protects us. Other times, it quietly steals opportunities we’ll never get back. The problem isn’t hearing “Don’t.” It’s never hearing “What if?” ⸻ DOS: “Saving the Best for Later” The moment Mum buys a new plate, bowl, or souvenir… Gone. Straight into the cupboard. Untouchable. Unless you want Ògún himself paying you a visit. It stays there until Christmas, Easter, or that one uncle everyone suddenly remembers exists. Then immediately after, back into storage it goes. Same thing with new clothes. “Let me wear the old ones first.” “I’ll save this one for a special occasion.” But here’s what we rarely stop to think about: Every day is a special occasion. You woke up today. You can breathe. You can walk. You can laugh. You can read these words. Those are privileges. Some people prayed for today and never got to see it. Life doesn’t become special because of the date on the calendar. It becomes special because you’re alive to experience it. Stop waiting for life to announce a celebration before you start living. ⸻ TRES: “Keeping the Bow” Growing up Yoruba, respect meant bowing. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Until you step into spaces where confidence communicates respect better than posture. Imagine walking into your office and prostrating for your manager. Everyone would probably think you missed the venue for a traditional wedding. Professional spaces operate differently. Sometimes respect looks like a firm handshake. Steady eye contact. A confident introduction. Clear communication. Yet many of us unconsciously carry timidity into those rooms. We struggle to look people in the eye. We lower our voices. We shrink ourselves because somewhere along the way, we confused humility with invisibility. Respect doesn’t require making yourself smaller. It simply requires treating people with dignity. Walk into the room with your head up. Own your presence. Speak with confidence. You don’t have to disappear to prove you’re respectful. ⸻ These are just a few of the things many of us learned without realizing it. They weren’t taught to harm us. They were taught to protect us. But some lessons that help us survive can also stop us from thriving. At some point, we have to decide which ones deserve to stay—and which ones we need to outgrow. Maybe the hardest part of growing up isn’t learning new things—it’s unlearning the beliefs that kept us alive, but no longer allow us to truly live. We can honor where we come from without being imprisoned by it, because the mindsets that once protected us should never become the cages we spend the rest of our lives trying to escape.

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