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Spoken word artist, writer, Bar aspirant @ Adekunle Ajasin University
Ondo, Nigeria
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YOU'RE NOT CONFUSED
<p>Sometimes you’re not confused.</p><p>You already know the answer</p><p>but you’re just hoping it’s not true.</p><p><br/></p><p>Not because you don’t understand</p><p>but because it’s hard to swallow.</p><p>Because accepting it might mean letting go or facing something you’re not ready for.</p><p><br/></p><p>So you pause</p><p>At that moment where everything becomes clear.</p><p>But instead of holding on to it, you let it slip.</p><p>You tell yourself you’ll think about it later.</p><p>You distract yourself.</p><p>You move on too quickly.</p><p>Anything..</p><p>but staying with that truth.</p><p><br/></p><p>Ada wakes up every morning, gets ready for work, goes to that same place</p><p>But deep down, she knows she doesn’t even like what she’s doing anymore.</p><p>She complains about it, laughs about it with her friends, and says “It’s just for now.”</p><p>But she knows</p><p>it’s been “just for now” for a long time.</p><p><br/></p><p>Tunde checks his phone and sees the message</p><p>But as he continues, he knows the energy is not the same.</p><p>He pauses for a second cos he knows exactly what it means.</p><p>But he drops the phone and says,</p><p>“Maybe I’m overthinking.”</p><p>Because accepting it</p><p>would hurt more than ignoring it.</p><p><br/></p><p>Chioma sits with her friends, talking and laughing</p><p>But she keeps adjusting herself, filtering her words, trying not to be “too much.”</p><p>She calls it “being understanding.”</p><p>But deep down, she knows she’s shrinking.</p><p><br/></p><p>Emeka keeps asking people for advice.</p><p>“What do you think I should do?”</p><p>But he resists every answer that sounds like the truth</p><p>Not because he doesn’t understand</p><p>but because it’s not what he wants to hear.</p><p><br/></p><p>And that’s the thing</p><p>It’s not that we don’t know.</p><p>We do.</p><p>We’ve had that moment of clarity where everything made sense.</p><p><br/></p><p>But we move on quickly.</p><p>We distract ourselves, we explain it away.</p><p>We give it another meaning.</p><p>Because knowing means deciding.</p><p>And deciding means change.</p><p>And change means letting go of something we’re not ready to lose.</p><p><br/></p><p>So we call it confusion.</p><p>When we’re just not ready for the truth yet.</p><p><br/></p>
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