DWARI.....A daughter of Ham - by Nomshu Writes✨

“A mother tongue competition!”I whisper to myself in excitement.“Mummy! I have to write about my people. It’s a competition and I want to share my culture.”She lights up immediately, telling me mind-blowing and funny stories about our tribe. I open Spotify and play Ham music in the background. If I’m going to write about my culture, I might as well feel it.My mother tells me the Ham people migrated from Egypt to Bauchi, and from Bauchi to Kaduna. I find it fascinating… and slightly hard to believe. (Just kidding. I believe it. Kinda.)In Southern Kaduna, we split into different locations. Collectively, people call us Jaba. But my tribe is Ham.And I am proud of it.February 2024Grandpa said goodbye forever.“Nom ji ka wu, baba. God be with you, baba.”I was broken. But I knew it was his time.He used to call me Tinam after a popular female doctor who treated him. (I’m in school and have absolutely no desire to become a doctor. I hope he understands.)A week later, we travelled home for his funeral. I saw almost all my cousins again after so long.“DWARI!”Welcome home.My grandmother Mama hugged us tightly. She hadn’t seen us in years.Nostalgia hit me like a wave. Huge rocks. Tall palm trees. The beautiful landscape of Ham land. And the terracotta our pride. Stolen by the whites, displayed even in the Black Panther movie. Cool, right? Fortunately, it was later returned to Nigeria. No matter where it travels, it belongs to us.After the emotional service, the cultural displays began. Local guns fired into the air. Traditional drums beat in rhythm and symphony. People danced. People laughed. People cried.“DWARI, my child!”“DWARI, my sister!”“DWARI! DWARI!”Welcome home.I thought I was strong. I thought I held it together perfectly.Until Grandpa was lowered into the earth.There was celebration for the long and fulfilled life he lived. But I couldn’t hold it anymore. I broke down. My grandma held me close.“Ki yi hakuri,” she whispered. Be calm. He is in a good place.And slowly, I found peace.Day TwoMy aunties and distant relatives spoke about me in Jaba, assuming I couldn’t understand. Because I can’t speak it clearly.There’s a quiet burning in my chest when that happens. I wish someone would take their time and teach me. My grandmother is disappointed sometimes… but it isn’t entirely my fault.That day, I learned that grandchildren must kill a goat, buy candy, and cook traditional beans for the elders. The beans were the most beautiful I’ve ever seen marbled, big, flat, colorful. A rare type of butter beans.It was fun to cook.But yuck. I hate the taste.I slipped away to the back of the yard to say hello to my father, who left this world in 2006.And for the first time in years, I felt warmth.No tears. Just peace.Did I mention Grandpa was a chief? So technically, I’m low-key royalty. A lady royal. Period.I also visited my mother’s father. A beautiful old man silky hair, long lashes. Why does he have to be so pretty?He told me he was very handsome and the best drummer in the village in his youth.“Old age is a thief,” I told him.He laughed. “It is life experience,” he replied. “Sanun ki, mama na.”I smiled.Then I checked on his bedridden wife my maternal grandmother. She didn’t recognize me. Memory loss had taken that from her. My heart broke quietly, but I wiped my tears and said goodbye.My mom told me about a special Tree of Life. Only two exist in the world one in Nok, my village, and another in Egypt. Its leaves never fall.I climbed a huge rock alone that evening. The view. The fresh, sweet, cold air. And it suddenly hit me What if I never enjoy this again?I saw Mama Bako pounding ndun Jaba rice cake, so delicious and so hard to make. I almost cried from nostalgia.When my remaining grandparents are gone, will I still return to Nok? Or will it become a place of memories… and witches and wizards? (Yes, we have stories.)I will miss this home.As we prepared to leave, my grandma said,“Nom ji ke wu.”May the Lord go with you.Goodbye Nok.Goodbye Ham.Goodbye Jaba.See you when I see you.And one day, when they speak my mother tongue around me…I will answer.

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