<p>I met a young man this evening in a shared ride, first it was Arsenal that got us talking. He saw my Screensaver and said "Bro, this season pain me o..." </p><p><br/></p><p>I chuckled and responded in kind.</p><p><br/></p><p>Then we talked about work, and what our motivations were for going through the Lagos grind day in day out.</p><p><br/></p><p>For sure I said the fancy stuff...oh I'm looking to get married soon, but I feel I'm not financially there yet. I'm juggling a couple of things and one of them is bootstrapping a Startup. With how it's going, things would change drastically and very soon, a lot of things are falling in line.</p><p><br/></p><p>He nodded and commended me, just as I had wanted.</p><p><br/></p><p>Then it was his turn to share, and I was not prepared for what I was about to hear.</p><p><br/></p><p>"I'm doing this for me", he said.</p><p><br/></p><p>"When I think about it, I've spent a bulk of my life trying to impress, trying to match up, fit in, or live up to expectations.</p><p><br/></p><p>My dad gave me a mentally torturing childhood. He never failed to insinuate that I didn't have his brains. </p><p><br/></p><p>I never seemed to do anything right, I kinda felt I was the child he never wished to have. </p><p><br/></p><p>I tried all I could, though, I just wanted someone to be proud of me, at least my family. </p><p><br/></p><p>I remember one day, having a math test. My teacher came across to see what I had been so seriously writing. </p><p><br/></p><p>He laughed and called me a Mathematician. I got home that day, told my mom with mush excitement, hoping it would make her smile. Whether she did or not, I don't remember. What I remember though is that the test results made me realize he was mocking me.</p><p><br/></p><p>At a point I lost every sense of self-belief, I had dated someone who was my true source of happiness. Didn't know she was merely enduring. </p><p><br/></p><p>One time, on my birthday, she compared me to someone else, said she wished I was as fun as he was. Gosh! On my birthday!!</p><p><br/></p><p>Was no surprise how I begged her at a bustop in Ikeja, the night she broke up with me. I was in tears, but she laughed and called our love "that thing". I felt a sore feeling. One close to death. </p><p><br/></p><p>I'm feeling better these days though, I found a church where I made some friends and I now teach in the Sunday school. </p><p><br/></p><p>We're nothing out of the ordinary, just feels great to know there are people who look forward to seeing me every week. </p><p><br/></p><p>You know this is the best kind of feeling.</p><p>I now want to be happy,</p><p>I want to do much more, but this time not for anyone, but myself."</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>I reclined and thought, someone I had just met gave me so much within such a short time. Interesting that I understood his feelings and that's why I thought to put together this piece. </p><p><br/></p><p>Sometimes we try so much only to end up feeling insufficient. I hope anyone who feels same would realize that you deserve to love and be loved. Just allow for love to happen.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>If you liked this piece, let me know, otherwise, I'd be around still, just like the wind.</p>
Insufficient!
By
Tobi Igbinedion
•
7 plays