<h4>In close relationships, it’s easy to put ourselves at the center without realizing it.<br/></h4><p><br/></p><p>We interpret silence, distance, or changes in mood as reflections of something we did.</p><p>But here’s the shift that changes everything:</p><p>It’s not all about you.</p><p>This isn’t about blame or guilt. It’s about <strong>perspective</strong> about seeing others as full, complex individuals, living stories that sometimes have nothing to do with you.</p><p><br/></p><p>Instance 1: The Silent Treatment with Your Partner</p><p>Amara feels a sting of hurt. Her partner, Bode, is quiet, withdrawn, scrolling endlessly through his phone after work.</p><p>"He’s mad at me," she thinks. "What did I do?" She replays their morning, maybe it was that comment about his shirt, or her rushed goodbye. The silence feels personal.</p><p>As she moves through the kitchen, rinsing plates, packing leftovers, a second thought surfaces:</p><p>“Wait. He didn’t seem upset earlier… and he hasn’t even looked angry. Just… off. This doesn’t feel like it’s about me.”</p><p>She remembers he mentioned a big client meeting coming up. Something shifts. What if he’s dealing with something I don’t know about?</p><p>She dries her hands, walks over, and gently asks:</p><p>"Tough day, love? Anything on your mind?"</p><p>It turns out, Bode’s day was a disaster. His biggest client, Mr. Okoro, blindsided him with a tense, last-minute meeting that tore apart the presentation he’d spent weeks preparing. He’s been replaying every word, humiliated, anxious, and unsure about his future at work.</p><p>He wasn’t shutting Amara out, he was just trying to hold himself together.</p><p><br/></p><p>Instance 2: Assumptions with Your Friends</p><p>Alex notices Dami hasn’t replied to her last two texts. Days pass.</p><p>"They’re ignoring me," she concludes. "They don’t care about this friendship anymore."</p><p>The silence feels like rejection, and Chidi begins to pull back emotionally. Until, in a conversation with a mutual friend, he hears:</p><p>“Dami’s been under serious pressure lately, new job stress, his mum’s been sick for a while, when he missed Call of Duty for 3 days in a row, I got worried, you know he doesn’t joke with his streak”</p><p>That one sentence unravels the whole story Alex had built in her head.</p><p>“Wow. I really thought it was just me.”</p><p>Instead of spiraling, she texts Dami with compassion:</p><p>"Hey, I’ve missed you. It’s been a while, I know things are really stressful right…just checking in. I’m here whenever you need."</p><p>Dami replies a day later with relief and gratitude. He hadn’t been avoiding Alex, just overwhelmed, barely holding things together.</p><p><br/></p><h4>The Power of This Realization</h4><p>When you truly grasp that “it’s not all about you,” something softens.</p><p>You stop taking things so personally. You make room for empathy instead of assumptions. You begin to see others not just as characters in your story, but as full people, living stories of their own.</p><p>This perspective doesn’t just prevent conflict. It creates space for grace, deeper understanding, and real connection. And that’s what keeps relationships strong, not perfection, but presence.</p>