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Ofonime Koko CYBER SECURITY SPECIALIST (IN TRAINING) @ TD AFRICA (TECHERDEMY)
In People and Society 3 min read
🧠 Stupid? Maybe. But That Word Is Not in My Vocabulary
<p>Ever been punished for saying a single word? I have.&nbsp;</p><p>If you ever called someone stupid in my house growing up, just know, you were in trouble 🚨&nbsp;</p><p>That memory came to me today while I was in transit 🚌. Out of nowhere, I found myself thinking about my childhood 👧🏽. And one thing stood out: how intentional my dad was about the words we used 🗣️ </p><p>At home, certain words were off-limits: stupid, foolish, idiot, not even the ones people now consider harmless. Not just because they were harsh, but because they shaped how we viewed people. Words carry weight. And my dad knew that well. </p><p>Of course, I knew those words. I heard them in school, on TV 📺. But inside our home? They were red flags 🚩. Words you didn’t even let slip by accident. They were forbidden.</p><p>&nbsp;And when rules turn into values, they don’t just disappear when no one’s watching.&nbsp;<img src="/media/inline_insight_image/pexels-rojda-182137743-12001078.jpg" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;" alt=""></p><p>My siblings and I understood that. We respected it. It didn’t matter if you were joking. It didn’t matter if someone “deserved it.” You simply didn’t speak that way </p><p>And you know what? It stuck. </p><p>Even now, as an adult, I find it hard, almost impossible, to call someone stupid 🙊. It’s not because I haven’t been provoked 🙄. Trust me, I’ve seen behavior that made me think the word. But to say it out loud? I just can’t. It doesn’t come naturally, not because I don’t know the words, but because I was trained not to use them. </p><p>That kind of discipline formed something in me. A boundary. A filter. A value system 🧭 </p><p>Now, did my dad ever use those words himself? Yes, once or twice, in rare moments when emotions were high 😤. But even then, those slips didn’t give us permission to follow suit. His standard for us stayed firm 💪🏽, and that left a strong impression. </p><p>It makes me wonder: if something as “simple” as avoiding foul language could be deeply ingrained in me, what else can we intentionally plant in children? 🌱 </p><p>Values like kindness, respect, emotional control, reverence, integrity, discipline: these are seeds. And when planted well, they take root. </p><p>But today, many parents avoid discipline altogether 🤷🏽‍♀️. They want to be their child’s best friend (which is cute, until it isn’t 😅). Discipline is often seen as outdated. People shrug when kids misbehave or speak carelessly. “Let them be,” they say. “Kids will be kids” 👶🏽👦🏽👧🏼 </p><p>But the truth? Children need structure 🧱. They need boundaries 🚧. They need accountability. That’s how character is formed&nbsp;<img src="/media/inline_insight_image/pexels-vanessa-loring-5082643.jpg" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;" alt=""></p><p>✨<strong>Discipline isn’t about control. It’s about formation. And long after childhood fades, what was planted still grows</strong>.<strong></strong></p><p>Still, I know that even the best parenting doesn’t guarantee perfect outcomes 🎭. Some parents pour their hearts into raising their kids right: teaching values, grounding them spiritually 🙏🏽, loving them 💛, guiding them, and still, the child chooses a different path </p><p>So then, who do we blame? The child? The parenting? Or… maybe the devil? 😈 </p><p>It's a tough question 🤔 </p><p>But one thing I do know: parents have a responsibility. Whether or not a child embraces those values, the foundation must be laid 🧱 </p><p>Amazing Harmony had a choice growing up. She could have said those words at school or with friends when the coast was clear 🕵🏽. But she didn’t. Not because she was being watched 👀, but because something had been formed in her. </p><p>So today, when someone says something reckless or acts completely out of line 😤, and she's tempted to call them an idiot or a fool, she stops. ✋🏽 </p><p>Not because they don’t deserve it, but because she was raised not to. </p><p>And that, in itself, is a kind of strength 🧘🏽‍♀️</p><p><strong>So… what was considered a red flag in your home? </strong>🚩</p>
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🧠 Stupid? Maybe. But That Word Is Not in My Voc...
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