TwoCents | THE FIRST BORN SYNDROME - by Praise-El Ogedegbe

I believe many of us will be able to relate to this piece . Whether we are firstborns ourselves or know someone who is. I have personal experience with this, having grown up in a household where i was often responsible for my  younger siblings. From a young age, i was to look after my siblings, whether we were at home, at school, or visiting friends, By the age of nine, I began cooking for us before our parents returned from work, ensuring that the house was clean and everyone behaved. I often provided detailed reports to my parents about our day and what i had prepared for us.As i approached eleven, my childhood playtime faded as i took on responsibilities that felt more like obligations. I prioritized my siblings needs above my own, adopting a mindset of "i have to handle this first before i can focus on myself "This syndrome often leaves little room for self care. Even after ensuring that everyone else is taken care of, there are always more tasks awaiting my attention. By nine, i was effectively a substitute parent, responsible for discipling, cooking and cleaning - tasks that children should not have to manage.As i grew older, the expectations placed upon me only increased. The world perceives me differently than i see myself, expecting me to fulfil roles i never chose. When i attempt to prioritize my own needs, The world would see me  as selfish as i don't understand the importance of responsibility.But regardless of how the world sees us, these responsibilities have shaped us into better people, whether we are aware of it or not. Navigating these challenges has fostered resilience, empathy and a sense of duty that will serve us well.In recognizing this, its essential to acknowledge that while being a first born comes with its own set of responsibilities,  taking time to acknowledge your efforts and needs are important.Navigating the complexity of this syndrome is crucial cause one has to find balance between responsibility and self-care, acknowledging that its okay to prioritize personal needs and taking a step to meet those needs are just as important, self-reflection can help us firstborns understand our motivations. Embracing the qualities that comes with being a firstborn such as leadership, empathy and a strong work ethic can lead to a more better existence. Firstborns need to understand that its possible to care for others without neglecting oneself and its a lesson we need to learn fast