THE MAN WHO CONTROLS LUST: Why Women Respect Men Who Command Themselves

We live in a time when temptation is louder than reason. With just a swipe or a click, you're bombarded by images, impulses, and distractions. It's never been easier to lose sight of who you are—or who you’re meant to be. This isn’t about shaming desire. It’s about reclaiming direction. Because when a man stops being consumed by his impulses and starts leading them, he becomes someone different. Someone people respect. Someone women remember. Niccolò Machiavelli, a timeless observer of human nature, once said, "He who cannot control himself will be controlled by others." That truth is more urgent today than ever. Men aren’t falling in battle. They’re falling in silence—distracted, unfocused, endlessly seeking attention or validation. And it’s costing them everything. Let’s break down five essential principles that can reshape your life. They’re not about denying how you feel. They’re about proving you can feel deeply and still remain steady. 1. When You Slow Down, You Become Magnetic Think about someone who didn’t rush to impress you. Who listened more than they spoke. Who let silence do the talking. Didn’t they leave a stronger impression? Most men act too quickly—too many compliments, too much interest, too soon. What they intend as confidence often comes across as neediness. But the man who moves slowly, with presence, radiates control. He builds tension. He creates space for curiosity. And curiosity is where real attraction begins. When you stop trying to force a moment and start letting the moment build, you become unforgettable. 2. When You Lead Yourself, You Can’t Be Led Attraction is powerful. A look, a smile—it can throw you off course. But how you respond says everything. Women often test without realizing it. They're not always testing your interest. They're testing your steadiness. Do you fold when she turns up the heat? Or do you stay calm, collected, and grounded? Being steady doesn’t mean being distant. It means you set the tone. You don’t follow the moment—you shape it. 3. Approval-Seeking Makes You Forgettable We all want to be seen. But when your worth depends on someone else’s reaction, you lose your edge. The man who needs constant validation becomes predictable. He stops being himself and starts performing. But the man who validates himself changes the entire atmosphere. He walks in with calm. He doesn’t ask for attention. He earns respect with presence. And that speaks louder than any words ever could. 4. Lust Is Energy. Where You Channel It Shapes You Desire is not the problem. Direction is. Many men waste their energy on things that give nothing back—numbing themselves with screens, short-term pleasures, and shallow highs. They wake up tired, distracted, unfulfilled. But the man who holds his fire and puts it into training, building, creating, becomes powerful. Every step he takes carries weight. Every silence becomes full of presence. He doesn't suppress desire. He redirects it. And in doing so, he becomes rare. 5. The Man Who Doesn’t Need Her Becomes the One She Chooses Too many men believe that if they give more, they’ll be chosen. Gifts, attention, affection—offered out of insecurity, not strength. But real intimacy doesn’t come from chasing. It comes from standing still and being whole. When you don’t need her to feel like a man, you change the entire dynamic. You bring peace, not pressure. And peace is powerful. Women don’t want to complete a man. They want to join one who is already complete. Final Thoughts: Control Isn’t Suppression. It’s Leadership This isn’t about denying desire. It’s about proving you are stronger than your urges. When you no longer chase, you command. When you no longer need attention, you draw it. When you lead yourself, the world begins to follow. And in a world full of noise, men who move with quiet clarity are unforgettable. Be that man. Stay grounded. Stay deliberate. Stay sovereign. Because the man who masters himself doesn’t just attract. He commands.

Other insights from Richard Oyesanya