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Oluseyi Vandy Freelance writer, audio producer...
city Lagos, Nigeria
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In People and Society • 2 min read • Jul 13, 2024 16:52p.m.
The Other Person Syndrome
<p>A lot of things seem easier, or black and white when it's not happening to us personally. "He should have done this, she shouldn't have done that". We are quick to say without a moment's pause. Sometimes we do not even wait to hear the full story, we just hear a phrase in the narration and our judgement antennas prick up. "What? They did what?!" We say in righteous indignation, "That's not right. It's not how things are done." As I write this, I laugh at myself because I have been fond of this from time to time.</p><p><br></p><p>Life is sometimes straightforward, but when emotions and attachments enter into the mix, it's not as easy as it seems. There's a saying I once heard which was summarised as we already know what we need to do, we just don't want to do it because it's hard. The key word is hard. But there are also times when things get so murky and muddled. Everyone has invested so much that the idea of cutting things off and starting from scratch can't even be considered an option.</p><p><br></p><p>When we look at most takes on social media, we see posts like this, full of judgement and finger-pointing. How do you know? They don't really give constructive takes or remedies, just bad-mouthing the victim. It's easy to bash, critic and point at strangers because a screen and distance separates you. This causes many to quickly throw harsh words and judgements around, they fail to consider certain circumstances, and they fail to excuse the fact that we are all human and are allowed to fail or err.&nbsp;</p><p><br></p><p>When we give judgment, we should be conscious of how harsh it is and empathise with the "victims". This does not in any way mean that we shouldn't correct people when we see them making bad choices, but we should not forget the most important part is condemning the actions and not the person. Also, we should embrace them and show love and compassion when they learn. In the end, we are all human.</p>
The Other Person Syndrome
By Oluseyi Vandy
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