The Value Of Self - by Stella Chukwu

In today’s society, casual sex has been dressed up as “freedom.”Losing your purity is now a trend.Modesty is mocked.And self-worth is sold for likes and validation. But what they won't tell you is this: Every time you lay down with a man who hasn't earned you, you lose something.Not your beauty…Not your intelligence…But your value to yourself. Let’s break it down, point by painful point: 1. Every WOMAN you sleep with chips away your emotional firewall You don’t notice it immediately. But deep inside, you become more numb…More tolerating of nonsense…More willing to accept less…And less capable of demanding better. You begin to normalize disrespect.You start seeing red flags and calling them “love.”Because you’ve trained your heart to bond through pain. 2. Women and men are not wired the same—stop playing yourself A man can sleep with a girl he doesn’t respect and forget her name by morning.No guilt. No bond. No trace. But a woman?You’ll overthink a one-night stand for a month.You’ll catch feelings for a man who barely knows your last name.Why? Because you’re built to connect.Your womb isn’t just physical. It’s emotional too. And when you keep giving it away like charity,you end up feeling bankrupt on the inside. 3. The more men you’ve been with, the harder it becomes to value yourself Nobody will say this in public, but you feel it in private. You say, “It’s my body, I can do what I want.”Yes, queen.But you’re not proud of what you’ve done with it. You sleep, you cry, you block him, you pray.Then repeat the cycle with a new name. You don’t need a boyfriend.You need healing. 4. Virginity is not outdated, it’s sacred In this world where everyone’s shouting “do you,”the girl who says “I’m saving myself” is the real rebel. If you’ve kept yourself, protect it like treasure.If you’ve lost it, you can start again.Purity is not about being untouched — it’s about being intentional. 5. Men separate pleasure from purpose — do you? He can have sex with you tonight and propose to another girl next week.That doesn’t make him wicked.It makes him a man who knows what he wants. He didn’t choose you, sis.He just used you. Don’t confuse intimacy with importance. 6. Pity is not love Stop confusing his sob story for genuine affection.He’s not “broke and misunderstood.”He’s lazy and manipulative. You can’t fix a man with sex.You’ll end up broken while he moves on stronger. 7. That slay queen life leads to private regrets You envy her lifestyle, but don’t see her pain. She posts luxury, but can’t sleep without pills.She’s in Dubai this week, but battling STDs next week.Her DM is full of fans, but her soul is full of emptiness. Don’t let filters fool you. 8. Lust won’t secure love If sex is all you offer, that’s all he’ll collect. He won’t see you as a wife — just another “experience.”And when he’s ready to marry,he’ll pick the woman who didn’t let him touch her. Sad, but real. 9. Emotional detachment isn’t healing — it’s trauma Acting like you don’t care isn’t strength.It’s proof that you’re tired of being hurt.But the real flex?Learning to love wisely — not recklessly. 10. Social media won’t save you from soul wounds All those “self-love” captions?They can’t hide the tears after he ghosts you.Affirmations don’t erase the ache of being used. You need more than quotes — you need truth. 11. Sexual discipline is the new superpower A woman who knows her worth doesn’t move with the crowd.She doesn’t trade her body for vibes.She’s rare, and that’s why she wins. Be her. Not them. 12. You’ll still do what you want This is the part where you ignore everything and say,“It’s my life.” And you’re right. But when the weight of your decisions starts to crush you,just remember:Truth doesn’t expire. It waits. Final Word: You’re not just a body.You’re a soul, a spirit, a temple. Don’t let this world turn your sacredness into scrap. Love wisely.Keep your dignity.Heal deeply.Live intentionally.

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