Yes, it is a real thing and even though it was something I made up that is yet to make it into any dictionary, not even urban dictionary, I still stand confident that it is a real thing that we must talk about.
Work esteem is a concept I developed through my years breaking into the labor market and trying to just survive. As a new graduate with no idea about my skills, what I could offer to the market, and my relevancy in this world, I already had a bad start to the beginning of what eventually became an overwhelming rollercoaster in the labor force…and I know that I am only one who felt that way.
Imagine this: You have spent four or five years gaining theoretical knowledge about a course or field that you somehow found yourself in. You managed to scale through by crook and nook and sacrificing your mental health but all that is finally over, you have graduated. You start celebrating, high on life, filled with hopes for the new future you are about to experience. For some of you, you are lucky enough to already know what you want to do when you leave, for others you have legs long enough to take you anywhere, and for others, you are trying to eat your rice in peace because the thought of the future is an instant panic attack. Clearly, I was ‘others’ but let’s not digress. Halfway into the rice, the realization that you have gone from undergraduate to unemployed starts to painfully sink in and whether or not you are ready for it, you still worry a bit and you wonder how it is going to be. Fast forward to a few months later, some of you are settled nicely in your cushion offices, holding on to the coattails of whoever squeezed you in with their power. Some others are still running around trying to figure out what they need to do, CV in one hand and application to Japa in the other. The final batch made it into a company, they don’t know what they are doing there other than the fact that they can finally brag that they are gainfully employed.
Yay! You finally have a job, but whilst you are super excited that you can finally join the big boys and tell people you work now, you are also starting at the bottom of the ladder, doing something you’ve never done before, and as a result, your confidence and esteem takes a real hit. For some, it starts from the first day, you’ll already start hearing a tiny voice in your head telling you that you’re not good enough and that you’re probably going to get fired soon.
Stick with me…don’t stop imagining. At this point, this is where ‘work esteem’ becomes a thing and basically it means the same thing as self-esteem except it is especially suited for the work environment. I didn’t agree with myself at first that this was a thing until I started having regular mental breakdowns on Monday to Friday and then when the weekend rolled in, I was absolutely fine. I was confident in myself, my appearance, and everything else but the moment someone mentioned anything about my work or capacity, it was back down to breaking down. I concluded then that having relatively high self-esteem in my life did not translate at all to my work. I entered the labor market very beggarly because I was unsure of what I had to offer and I was too scared to ask for more or reach for more...and I spent my first two years, working aimlessly just to get scraps of compliments from my bosses. This is the moment where some people start to experience imposter syndrome and then fear of failure for others. You panic every time the phone rings, you worry every time someone comments on your work, your heart skips a thousand beat once your manager calls and almost every night, you are wondering why they haven’t fired you yet. You work like a slave and take on more tasks than you are paid for because you worry that if they fire you you can’t somewhere else or that you have to do it to properly earn your pay. You magnify every comment about your work and emotionally dwell on past failures. For me, I nearly quit many times but then again I didn’t even have the confidence to quit so I guess in a way, my low work esteem protected me. Everywhere you turn, there are a million and one people who are so much better than you. You graduated with a first-class, worked at a big company for your internship, and acquired relevant Coursera certificates yet there is one guy who is younger than who, earning nearly three times as you, started three companies already, and is the consultant for the company you work for.
At this point, you have been working for a while but it feels like there is no progress, your salary is becoming even more useless but you don’t know if you can ask for more because you don’t think you deserve it. You are already hating your job, everybody on LinkedIn is working their dream jobs and earning millions of dollars at 18 and there’s you, you who is just trying to not quit and wondering why you studied 5 years in university only to suffer like this. You are considering starting a business but when you can barely send an email without typos, how would you start a business? Your ‘work esteem’ here has basically hit rock bottom.
Let me tell you something, if you are experiencing this and you are wondering why this is happening to you…and why everyone else seems to be fine...I’ll let you know one thing. You are not alone. I can’t say for all people but I can boldly say this happens to a lot of people and it is okay. So here’s what you can do to overcome it. First, step out and see the light. No, sorry, that’s the wrong advice, definitely not for this post.
The first thing I did to overcome this was to sit back and draw a list of the value I bring to work. What can I do? What do I do? Where am I relevant? You’ll be surprised to see how much you have been underselling yourself. If you can’t answer these questions yourself, find someone who will tell you. It could be a work colleague or a good friend, just find someone who you trust and let them sit with you through this conversation. Once you figure out what you can do, then you need to go around and search for the market value of your skills. How much are my skills worth in the market? If you realize you are worth more, then you need to decide to either stick with where you are and demand a pay raise or go somewhere you will be better appreciated. Some companies are great enough to evaluate and increase your salary without prompt but most will not…because who doesn’t like cheap labor…so you have to do it. I died a hundred times when I sent an email about an increase in my salary and even then I approached it so beggarly but surprisingly, the feedback was so positive, I wondered why I was suffering for so long. Once I started earning better, my work esteem was greatly boosted.
The next thing I did was to begin to take louder initiatives so rather than labor in silence and earn nothing, I worked louder. Basically, be more proactive, and be seen. Within a few months of doing this, I got promoted twice...and up my work esteem went. Yes, you are a fresh graduate and you don’t have a lot of experience, yes, everyone else seems to know better than you and you don’t have much to offer…but it doesn’t matter. Sell yourself bigger than you truly are and then work to meet that standard…that’s the principle I now work with…and it works amazingly well.
Finally, challenge yourself out of your comfort zone. Accomplishing things you were afraid to do will not only boost your work esteem but position you for better opportunities. Identify your strengths and capitalize on them; rather than dwell in misery about your weakness, make noise about your strength and make it so relevant that they can’t do without you. Let me give an example, in one of the places I worked, I created a niche department that added significant value to the company but my work esteem was too low to appreciate it. I still worked beggarly and settled for scraps. It wasn’t until I got sick one day and requested a three-day leave that the reply email read ‘due to the importance of your position, we can only offer you one day's leave’...It was at this moment, I realized how much I had undervalued my efforts for the company. I decided to add more strength to the niche department, capitalize on it and make so much noise about it until I was promoted to the head of the department. If you look back at how far you have come, you’ll be surprised at how much you have done and how much better you are than you think.
So this is my little message to new graduates and fresh workers, don’t sell yourself short. Ask for more than you think you deserve at interviews, be shameless about your worth…and don’t let loyalty to any organization drag your work esteem to the trenches. Peace
Until next time!
This thing called ‘work esteem’
By
Esther Omemu