What I never said - by Medina Isah

What I never said I never confronted you, not because I was scared, not because I didn't want to hurt you But because I knew the emotion may be too much and I may do something out of reason.But I want you to feel, feel the way my whole body goes up in flames whenever I look at you, I want you to know how anger consumed me, it almost clouds my sense of logic, I want you to know that all my sleepless nights, those days that you put on your mask and pretended to care, and asked if I were okay. I wanted to scream at you I wanted to scratch that mask off your face, so that the whole world could see you for who you really are, an ugly monster.I wanted to tell you that you did that to me. you.But I smiled and said it was nothing.It was everything. I won't come here to give you the satisfaction of your monstrous desire, no.I would call it as I see it. You are a selfish, heartless, insatiable monster who has lost all sense of feeling.You are not human.Maybe you are not used to people calling you out, but I willYou are the most unfeeling person I've ever known, and I regret ever knowing you.You think you are smart enough to get away with whatever you do, but not with me.You may have been delusional. Too delusional to see that I saw right through you.A hungry beast, an attention seeker, you see everything as a competition.Your mask doesn't hide who you are. not from me.I sensed your cannibalistic attributes even before your mask cracked.Like a bad odor. Sometimes, I look at you with pity.Maybe, you are a result to some kind of pain.Maybe that made you into what you are today.But no matter how I think it through, that doesn't warrant you being a bully, who thrives on people's pain and misery. People like me.I wish I had known sooner, I wish I hadn't entrusted you with my fragile, suffering heart, which you ripped into bits. Painfully. Since you thrive on pain, mine should last you for the rest of your life. So please, don't go about wearing that stupid mask of yours and looking for another soul to drain the life out of. You want to be main character so bad, you don't even have a destination.Your sense of logic has been clouded by the delusion of being important.News flash, genius You don't matter.You never did. The one thing you've succeeded in in life is taking the light out of people. Feeding on it, like a carnivorous beast.Leeching off themUntil they are nothing but a shadow of themselves.People like me.But you see, that only lasts long.As much as I want to see you in that hole I once was, I'm not you.I won't gain anything from your pain.I forgive you.That doesn't mean my heart wouldn't burn whenever we lock gazes, but I want to be free of the chains of setbacks.And I can only do so when I find peace.I hope you heal.

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