What Remains of Us - by Ayanfe Adeogun

Dear Sunny,Do you remember me, Sunny?Do you remember when we used to run around the little fields,Pushing each other around, rolling in the grass with the carefreeness that could only belong to kids?Do you remember our spot in the middle of the doorway outside the school, and when we swore to protect it with our lives?I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's been three long years, and you haven't called.I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope you haven't forgotten about us.I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope you haven't forgotten about me. Dear Sunny,You didn't reply to my other letter, so I'll assume you didn't get it.It's a random night, late in July,And I just randomly remembered that timeWhen we told each other what we wanted to be,And told each other all of our dreams,And promised each other that we'd fulfill those dreams.And I just wanted to say sorry, because I don't think I can follow through on that promise.You see, it's like we had these fantasies when we were little kids,Lost in our little worlds, we never stopped dreaming.And as we grew older, we learned to stop dreaming,Because the life we're living is a lot more bleak compared to the pictures we were painting,Compared to the brightness of whatever we imagined.And we had to stop dreaming, because then we'd actually think we could achieve it.But we can't. See, it's a fucked up world that we live in.See, there's nothing that hurts more than reality.A sad lesson, you see, but one we had to learn.A sad lesson, you see, but a lesson nonetheless. Dear Sunny,How are you doing now?You didn't reply to my last couple of letters, but I guess it's alright.It's been a really long time, man. I'm already married now,With identical twin boys. They just love to run around the house.Seeing them reminds me of you and me.It's crazy how I'm living now,Because I never thought I'd get to have this life.Those things I said about dreams, I guess it was a lie.I got everything I wanted. Now I'm sitting inside my houseIn the company of my beautiful wife. Did I mention she's pregnant with our third child?I see her smiling, and I still can't believe I pulled someone as pretty as her.It gets so difficult to believe she's the one with whom I'll spend the rest of my life.To be honest, it gets hard to believe how I'm living now.It's hard to believe, man. Anyway, that's all for now.I have a lot to say, but we'll talk when you write me back. Dear Sunny,Why must you keep ignoring me?It's been a lifetime since we got together, just you and me.It's been a lifetime since we even got to see each other,And now a lot of things seem foggy.I can't remember your voice.I can't remember your smile.I can't remember the crease in your cheek when you'd throw your head back and laugh.I remember all the significant memories that we had,But I can't remember the person I shared them with. You're just this figure in my mind.And it hurts me every time I remember, because things weren't supposed to end like that.You've missed a lot, Sunny, a lot more than I can write.All these years went by faster than I'd have liked.In the blink of an eye, I'm already eighty five.I just had a stroke, and my kids thought I'd die.And for the umpteenth time, I realized the fragility of life.And for the umpteenth time, I realized I'm running out of time.And for the umpteenth time, I realized that I just want to die,Because I'm tired of the pain that comes with being alive.So Sunny, please don't forget to write a letter back. Dear Alan,I'm sorry for not writing sooner.It wasn't like I was ignoring you, man, even if you don't believe that.So many things came up, so I hope you're not mad.I just wanted to say I'm proud of the man that you are, and the man that you were,And of all the things that you accomplished and built.I won't be able to visit, so help a friend out.Say hi to your wife and kids from Uncle Alan.It's a crime that so much time has passed byAnd I never got to meet them, another thing that needs some fixing.I'm happy that you're living the dream.To be honest, I was hurt when you said that you broke your promise,But it's nice to see that you pulled through.Can I be honest?I'm a little jealous, because I haven't got a family of my own.I'm just sitting alone inside this house I prayed for,That I built with the money I prayed for,Gotten from the job I prayed for.That's enough. Like you said, you don't have much time.I just wanted to make sure that you heard from your best friendBefore you died and left everyone behind,And the thought of that makes me sad.I guess it's my fault I took too long to write back.I'll be coming to see you soon. Watch out for me.I mean it this time. Just wait a little while longer,And then we'll finally be reunited.Sincerely,Sunny Dear Sunny,Can I let you in on a secret?It hasn't been that long. It's just been a couple of weeks.It's been an eternity to me, but we aren't talking relatively.It's been an eternity to me, but it doesn't really matter, does it?It's a random night, late in July,And I'm sitting in front of your grave, trying to accept the fact that you died.But I can't. I'm happily in denial.But I can't. I still keep thinking you'll come back.I've been saying so many words, but I can't hear a reply.So I wrote a couple of letters, fast forwarding to the day that I die.And then I wrote one on your behalf,Because I'm anticipating the day when I join you in the clouds.It's crazy, because now I don't even want to die.I've got a whole life ahead of me,Filled with dreams and memories and endless promise.Don't worry, bro. I remember the promiseWe made to each other when we were little kids.That's the reason why I want to live, you see.I'm not doing it for me. I'm living for you.I guess this is the last letter I'll ever write to you.However long it takes, I promise we'll meet again.However long it takes, I promise we'll meet again.Sincerely,Alan

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