TwoCents | WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT A 'BEFITTING BURIAL' ?

What is the African definition of a befitting burial and who agreed on that standard? It's been a while you heard from me, but fret not - I am back(you guys better have missed me). What's on my mind today is the opposite of life - death, and how we bid our loved ones good bye after they are gone. Loss is no joke, we all can attest to that because one way or another, we have all experienced the pain of loss. Once someone close to us leaves the earth, it's a devastating feeling. For the next couple of months, we try to adjust to life without said person and I believe it sucks that whether we like it or not, we eventually learn to live without our dearly departed. While we mourn, we still have to attend to the issue of sending them off to rest in peace (physical burial). For this post, it is that burial process I'd like to talk about. It's common to hear the words 'befitting burial' associated with funeral arrangements - I might be wrong, but it seems most common within African climes; especially when the dead happens to be a senior citizen. Let's jump right to it - befitting burial is usually another term for lavish and expensive burials. It shouldn't , but that's what it's been made out to be. I don't have a problem with upholding customs and traditions, but when those traditions unnecessarily eat a deep hole in one's finances, it might be time to give it a rethink. Most times, when I let my mind dwell on this topic, I find myself asking; is the dead really concerned with how many cows lose their lives for their burial? Is an excessive display of wealth important to the souls in the after life? Would a quiet, respectful and solemn send off upset the dead so much so that they wouldn't rest in peace? A further deep thinking on this matter, and I debate whether some of these customs are about respect as much as they are about taking advantage of grieving families. Nine out of ten times, the custodians of traditions do not love the departed more than their family, they are just after filling their bellies on the day of burial. I know the frustration that follows some of these ridiculous and down right absurd funeral rites. Perhaps it's about time that we prioritize genuine honor than masked showoff disguised as honor. To anyone eager to misconstrue my questions, this isn't a post encouraging disrespect to those we owe honor to in death. Rather, it is just a search for answers. There are many people out there drowning in the financial pressures that comes with the expectation of giving their lost loved ones a befitting burial. It's so bad that it leads most to unnecessary debt and in some cases increase in blood pressure. I'm of the believe that one shouldn't return from paying last respects compounded in more woes and hopelessness. Of course there are African cultures that do not impose ridiculous financial responsibilities onto those who have just suffered a loss. It would be a great disservice not to commend them for that. Or do we say the absence of razzmatazz in the funeral programs of such places disqualifies it as befitting? I leave you here my good friends to ponder on this. As usual, feel free to leave a comment and perhaps a befitting tip 😜

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