“Why Are You Gay?” Again? Seriously?

The Never-Ending Interrogation “Why are you gay?” “Who says I’m gay?”“You are gae.” Yeah, we’ve all seen the meme. It’s funny, until it’s not. Because for some of us, it’s not just a viral clip. It’s our everyday reality.Every time someone questions my sexuality, it’s like that scene playing on a loop. And honestly? It gets exhausting.Apparently, liking purple makes me gay. Being a massive K-pop fan (yes, I stan BTS and TXT fight me) makes me gay. Loving anime characters with pink hair? Another strike. Cross my legs when I’m tired? Clearly gay. Hug my male friends? Suspicious. Say “awwwn” when I see cute stuff? Guilty again.Spoiler alert: I’m straight. But in the Nigerian social rulebook, being emotionally expressive or even remotely soft makes you suspect. <h4>My Vibe ≠ Your Label</h4>Here’s what people don’t seem to get: I don’t live by your mold.I love Barbie and I’ll die on the hill that she’s one of the best pop culture representations of feminism. (Don’t @ me. Actually, do. Let’s debate.)I also love loud explosions and brainless action movies. I work out…well when my lazy ass feels like it. I don’t care for sports, but I respect the hell out of athletes. Messi and Zlatan? Icons.So where does that leave me? Somewhere between the Barbie aisle and the action section and I’m good with that. The Nigerian Judgment TrapWhat I can’t get behind is the way Nigerian society polices masculinity. You either fit the mold of the “alpha male” stereotype or you’re instantly branded “gay.” And it’s always said like an insult, never as a genuine question or conversation.I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been mocked or dismissed just because I express myself differently. And what’s wild is, some of the kindest, least judgmental people I know are gay. They’re the ones who are actually comfortable in their skin and not obsessed with sticking labels on others. <h4>Let’s Talk</h4>So here’s my TwoCents:If you’ve ever felt boxed in because you don’t match some outdated idea of what your gender is “supposed” to act like, I see you.What’s the “unmanly,” “un-African,” or “unconventional” thing about you that people just don’t get? Let’s talk. Let’s share. Let’s start smashing these boxes for good.TL;DR:Emotional expression isn’t a sexuality. Kindness isn’t a weakness. Being yourself should never feel like a crime.

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