WHY LOVE DON'T LOVE - by Zayn De Baptiste

Omo!, we are not talking enough about the emotional barricade that exists in relationships these days, like you can't love with your full chest. You analyse chats or conversations with supposed intimate partners these days, and all you see are words that reveal a two-footing in <a class="tc-blue external-link" href="https://intentions.words" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">intentions.words ↗</a> that serve as emotional maneuvers strategically placed to show partial affection and plausible deniability when things go south or are misinterpreted. What I'm addressing here is what I call "excessive mixed signal" syndrome. She likes you, but wouldn't admit that to anyone. Not even you,maybe to herself. This is to have some supposed leverage or shares in this emotional bond you are both invested in; so when she's put in an awkward position about your relationship, she can always say “there was nothing between us” after all. Like that was the truth,while hurting. He, too, on the other hand, wants you badly but wouldn't come down to that total emotional submissiveness level to show it completely. Not because he can't, but because he doesn't want to be that vulnerable with something so pricey to men, particularly in a world where you may take advantage of that insecurity of his. So, when he is put in an awkward position, he too also deploys his own tool by using the, "Na my smallie; I just dey use am hold body," card. Like that was her actual worth. However, Love is a very paradoxical concept and people use it to their advantage as they do with everywhere thing they have access to. In today's society, people often prioritize self-protection over openness, resulting in a lack of emotional intimacy and clarity in relationships. This can stem from various factors, including societal expectations, past experiences, and the desire for control. No one wants to look weak or too invested these days, and these very things are in stark contrast to the basis of every healthy relationship. The thing is, this used to be something conventional to people at the "scooping stage." However, when this mentality persists even after there are mutually shared feelings, it becomes a toxic situation that results in one of those weird relationships you have with that person. It's just so much better to be intentional and clear about your intentions on such sensitive issues as relationships. Whatever may be the cause of this emotional phenomenon, the fact that it has been normalized in the world we live in—where people are genuinely scared to love is frightening, and tells you how much progress society has made if this is the new face of progress. I mean, what is life without love, babe? In a world where everything is chaotic, relationships are supposed to be safe havens, not eggshells. Footnote: The excessive mixed signal syndrome is a kind of situation where you're just so overwhelmed by uncertainty, by how the person treats <a class="tc-blue external-link" href="https://you.like" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">you.like ↗</a> you don't know if they want you or <a class="tc-blue external-link" href="https://not.this" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">not.this ↗</a> can be a maze for people trying to navigate their ways in relationships..it's like being one of those clothes in your wardrobe or bag you gain an undetachable comfort at the thought of still having, but never wear. However at the same time you're disturbingly unwilling to discard them. The scooping stage is a slang in Nigerian pidgin English that is kind of synonymous with courting or wooing as regards to intimate social relations.

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