WHY WE KEEP PEOPLE WHO HURT US

Why We Keep the People Who Hurt Us (Even When We Know Better) There’s a weird kind of magic in pain. Not the romantic kind. The kind that makes you check your phone for someone who’s already forgotten you.The kind that whispers, “Maybe if I was a little more chill... a little less emotional... they would’ve stayed.” But here’s the thing no one really says out loud: We don’t always want love.Sometimes, we want familiarity.And pain—especially the kind that looks like love—can feel familiar as hell. --- Truth Bomb #1: They Hurt You, But They Felt Like Home Let’s be real. You didn’t fall for their kindness. You fell for the comfort in the chaos.The same kind of chaos you grew up in.That emotional hide-and-seek. That feeling of needing to earn love.They triggered your survival instincts—not your soul. They mirrored a wound so old you forgot where it started. And when it hurt, it didn’t feel wrong.It felt like something you were built to survive. --- Truth Bomb #2: You Fell in Love With the Version You Built in Your Head We keep people who hurt us because we didn’t fall in love with them. We fell in love with: The version of them we imagined The potential we swore we saw The dream they sold us in between apologies That version was intoxicating.But here’s the brutal truth: You can’t date someone’s potential. You either love who they are, or you’re holding a ghost. --- Truth Bomb #3: You Thought the Pain Meant It Was Real Let’s not pretend. Some part of you thought the pain proved it mattered. Like, “If it hurts this much, it must be love, right?”Like movies taught us love means suffering.Like songs told us heartbreak is just part of the passion. But that’s not love.That’s emotional gambling.You’re spinning the wheel, praying the next version of them finally chooses you. But they won’t. Not fully. Because they already know they don’t have to. --- Truth Bomb #4: You Didn’t Want Closure. You Wanted Control We say we want closure. But let’s be honest:We want a redo.A comeback.We want them to wake up, realize our worth, and beg us to stay. But love doesn’t work like a Netflix rewrite.No perfect scene. No last-minute monologue.Just silence, space, and what we do next. So we keep them—even if it’s just in our minds.Because if we keep them, we don’t have to face the void.And that void? It's scary. But here’s the plot twist:Peace feels like boredom when you’re addicted to survival mode. --- Truth Bomb #5: You Didn’t Stay Because You’re Weak. You Stayed Because You’re Wired You’re not dumb.You’re not pathetic.You’re not desperate. You’re human. Your nervous system got attached to the emotional rollercoaster.Your brain linked inconsistency with intensity.And now stillness feels suspicious. But you’re not stuck.You’re waking up. --- Okay, So Now What? You stop justifying their actions like it’s your fault.You stop fantasizing about “what if” like it’s still on the table.You stop romanticizing dysfunction and start craving peace. You look in the mirror and say:“They hurt me. I let them. But it ends here.” You don’t need closure. You need clarity.You don’t need them back. You need you back. --- The Plot Twist They Never Saw Coming? You unlearn the idea that pain = love.You walk away—not with a scream, but with silence.You glow up emotionally.You stop chasing ghosts and start building boundaries. And one day, when they try to come back (because they will)—you won’t be angry.You’ll be over it. Not because they changed.But because you did. --- Because keeping someone who hurt you isn’t loyalty.It’s self-abandonment.And your comeback story deserves better!

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