You would have to be really oblivious of the happenings of the society, if you haven't realized the high rate at which marriages come to an end this era. As opposed to the old days, divorce is more accepted and even encouraged. So it is not surprising to see couples opt for that option, when they feel their union isn't working anymore.
To some, this fresh normalized phenomenon, is a welcome development. It gives a way out to those in a loveless marriage, with little to less judgement. For others, it is a concept that destroys the idea and sanctity of marriages. Pondering on this however, I've come to realize that this new norm of divorce, is a double edged sword.
On one edge, it is great that people in abusive marriages, are encouraged to get out. It is refreshing to see a woman or man, living with an abusive partner, have the courage to live. Previously, such courage would be hampered by the fear of being stigmatized for being a divorcee. I remember a few occasions as a child, the way a person who has been married and divorced, is spoken about. It mostly felt like they had done something evil. And if we are being honest, this stigma, caused a lot of our parents and relatives to remain in unhappy unions.
It is often said; what has a good side, also has a bad side too. And this is no different. The wide acceptance and increased rate of divorce, also has its negative side. For one, it has availed an easy way out for a lot of people. Let's be honest, with marriage comes a lot of work and tricky situations. The ability to put in that work, cannot be overemphasized. But this is the problem - a lot of couples are not willing to put in that work. The more popular option as opposed to a bit of compromise, is divorce. Marriage is not about long suffering, but sometimes, it requires patience. Considering divorce, at the first major challenge, would lead one to a series of failed relationships.
There is also the issue I like to call 'trial marriages'. The careful consideration and thought, before getting married, is almost gone. Rather what we have are people who get into it, kind of like they are trying out a new software. If they don't like what they see, they call it quits. It is my opinion, that a lot of issues which lead to divorce, could have been noticed during courtship. Due diligence, is the key.
Do I support divorce? Absolutely, when it is the glaring and obvious option. However, when it is used as a mere get out of jail free card, it becomes a problem.
A way out or an easy way out
By
Jefferson Nnadiekwe