March Essay Competition

March 9 — March 22, 2026,

Prompt

The average man, regardless of creed, family background, religion, personal convictions, or social, economic, or marital status, will always feel threatened or intimidated by a successful, strong, independent woman.

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The Myth of the Threatened Man: Rethinking Masculinity and Female Success

By Nimmatula Abdulsalami

March 9, 2026 · 990 words · 5 min read

Honestly, the idea that many men feel threatened by a successful, strong, independent woman is something I've seen discussed a lot. I did some research on Ibukunoluwa Olu Fagbolade and she wisely said, a woman's success doesn't scare a confident man, but it can shake up an insecure one. The thing is, this difference is key to understanding a complicated situation where old ways of thinking often clash with new progress. To get why a successful woman might seem like a threat, we first need to look at how society has shaped what it means to be a man. For centuries, society has taught men to be the head, who provides and leads. This old script, as Fagbolade explains, links a man's identity to being in charge. In this traditional view, a man's value was judged by how much more he earned and achieved than others, especially the women in his life. When a woman finally gets that big promotion she worked years for, earning more respect, more money, or doing well in her field, she accidentally shakes this old power structure. For some men, this change is not about money at home; it feels like a direct attack on who they are. They might feel like their identity has been crushed, because society never taught them how to be happy for her success. I witnessed a married couple go through this problem. The woman is a CEO and way more successful than her husband – her family's richer, and he doesn't work. This caused major family problems. Both families clash over old traditions; the parents feel like the man should be providing. They see him as someone who married rich instead of being the provider. He felt like people saw him as a "houseboy", not a strong, independent man. Eventually, he felt threatened, thinking she'd leave him for someone better. But because of love and understanding they sorted it out. However, he didn't give up because he never saw her success as a threat rather it was due to societal and family influences. From a psychological view, this is connected to what experts call “Insecure Masculinity”. Unlike being a woman, which is often seen as a natural state, being a man is often seen as a status that must be earned and constantly protected. When a partner's success seems greater than a man's own, it can make him feel less manly and like he's losing his position as the head. This is especially true in cultures where old-fashioned gender roles are still very strong. In these places, a woman's strength is often wrongly seen as a man's weakness. This can lead to men acting defensively, feeling bitter, or even trying to cut down her achievements. However, true masculinity, as Fagbolade suggests, isn't shown by being dominant; it's shown by being emotionally smart and secure. Always needing to prove one's masculinity to others can seriously harm peace at home and in relationships. But here's the real kicker: saying that all men, no matter their background, feel this way is too simple and ignores the big steps forward made in recent years. The rise of equal values and more and more households where both partners work have started to change modern relationships. Many men today grow up in homes where a woman's ambition is celebrated, not feared or envied. For these men, a partner's success is seen as a shared win, not a competition, not a threat. They feel secure in who they are and value the relationship for its mutual support, rather than sticking to old lame power structures. A healthy relationship, as Fagbolade stresses, isn't about who is ahead, it's about how far partners can go together. Sadly, many men weren't taught this, which makes them think that if a woman rises, he must fall. But the important lesson is that when she wins, you win that's if you are smart enough to see her as your teammate and not some competition. A strong woman isn't trying to take over; she simply wants to be seen, heard, celebrated and respected. If a man feels threatened by her power, he should look inside himself, not at her, and ask: Why does a woman being in charge make me feel out of control? Also, we cannot ignore the power of education and seeing different viewpoints. Men who have learned about feminist ideas or who have seen the good effects of women leaders are more likely to see a strong woman as an equal partner rather than someone to compete with. The "average man" is not a fixed idea; he is shaped by his surroundings. As society moves towards more gender equality, the rules for what makes a "man" are growing to include support, genuineness, understanding, and working together. At the end of the day, while many men do feel threatened by female success, and this is a real and deep social issue, it is not something that cannot be changed. This tension exists because our culture is going through a big shift. As the idea of success keeps changing beyond old gender limits, the need for one gender to be less important than the other will fade. The goal is not just for women to be successful, but for men to become confident enough that her success is no longer seen as a threat, but as a shared victory for everyone. As Ibukunoluwa Olu Fagbolade beautifully puts it in "The Final Word": a woman's success should never be a threat, it should be a bonus, a gift, and a wonderful addition to your journey. A confident man doesn't compete with his woman; he claps when she succeeds, helps her when she's down, and matches her energy with grace. Dear kings, you don't lose your power when she finds her voice. You only become greater when you walk alongside a queen who knows her worth. References [1] Fagbolade, Ibukunoluwa Olu. "WHY DO SOME MEN FEEL THREATENED BY A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN?"