March Essay Competition

March 9 — March 22, 2026,

Prompt

The average man, regardless of creed, family background, religion, personal convictions, or social, economic, or marital status, will always feel threatened or intimidated by a successful, strong, independent woman.

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Essay

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Are men intimidated by successful women?

By Reuben Sunday

March 19, 2026 · 736 words · 4 min read

As the sun sets over Abuja, casting long shadows across the rolling hills of Garki, I sat with my friend, sipping zhepo with knadolo and watching the city’s famous traffic crawl home. He showed me a post on his phone. A prompt: "The average man will always feel threatened by a successful, strong, independent woman." My friend laughed, calling it the whining of men who are not sure of their own skin. I nodded, but my silence was deeper than his dismissal. For me, as a Gbagyi man, a prospective husband, and a music minister, this question is not a simple matter of ego. It is about the delicate, God-given architecture of a home. So, let me give you my truth: I am not intimidated by my wife’s success. No. My fear is not her salary or her title. My fear is the look in her eyes when she hands me money to give to my younger brother for school fees. My fear is the quiet pause before she agrees to fund a new outreach for my music ministry or Concert. My fear is that her success will build a wall between us, a wall built not of her achievements, but of my perceived failure. You see, I want a Proverbs 31 woman. The Bible describes her as a woman of valor, a woman who brings good and not harm, who works with eager hands, who considers a field and buys it. She is a businesswoman, a provider. That is the kind of woman I want to be my wife. A woman that is strong, capable, and I will happily thank God every day for such a jewel. Such a woman's strength does not threaten me; it completes me. It will make our family a fortress. But the cornerstone of that fortress is not her income or mine. It is the principle of headship and submission that we should both hold sacred. The Scripture does not tell her to submit because I am richer, smarter, or more successful. It tells her to submit because I am her husband, and it tells me to love her so deeply that I would lay down my life for her, just as Christ loved the church. That is the covenant. That is the balance and the kind of family I am praying to God for. My fear, then, is not her having money. It is the modern world’s twisted logic that equates financial contribution with authority. My fear is that the world will whisper to her, "You pay the bills, so you call the shots." My fear is that she will begin to see my role not as the priest of the home, but as a dependent. And the moment respect is replaced by pity, the foundation of our love begins to crack. There is something natural, I believe, inherent in me as a Gbagyi man. It is the deep, cultural and spiritual desire to be the primary conduit of provision. I want to be the one who trains our children, who supports my extended family, who finances the work of the ministry God has placed in my heart. Imagine the weight on a man’s spirit when he must constantly turn to his wife and say, "Can you help me take care of my own people?" It is not about control. It is about dignity. It is about the ability to lead by example, to give freely, to be the rock. If she is the one financing my ministry, do I still answer to God alone for that calling, or do I unconsciously start answering to her? That is the subtle erosion of a man’s soul. So, am I intimidated by a successful woman? No. But I am wary of a world that teaches a woman that her success gives her the right to disrespect her husband, to undermine his headship, or to view his provision as obsolete. I am not intimidated by her strength; I am intimidated by the thought of losing her respect. For when a man loses his wife’s respect, he has lost more than a partner—he has lost his anchor, his crown, and the very wind in his sails. Let her be successful. Let her shine. But let us never forget that in our home, the currency is not Naira. It is reverence for God, and the sacred, unshakable respect between a husband and a wife.