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9
My spark ✨
<p> I stormed out of my room, screaming at the top of my lungs.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Where is my lighter?” I shouted. It never leaves my black purse.</p><p><br/></p><p>Who took it?</p><p><br/></p><p>Everyone froze. No one had ever seen me like that before. My eyes were already full of tears.</p><p><br/></p><p>I yanked open drawers, emptied wardrobes, and ripped through every bag I could find. Clothes, papers, and random belongings were scattered across the floor. The house felt like a graveyard. The only sound was me tearing the place apart, desperately searching for that lighter.</p><p><br/></p><p>My grandma came out of her room and asked what had made me so angry. I told her not to worry, then walked outside to buy another one.</p><p><br/></p><p>My siblings, the same people I laugh with and play with every day, wouldn’t come near me. They watched from a distance as if I were contagious.</p><p><br/></p><p>The moment I got another lighter, I did the only thing that could silence the storm in my head.</p><p><br/></p><p>I burned myself.</p><p><br/></p><p>The relief hit harder than an orgasm. It felt as though every ounce of invisible pain had been transferred into something I could finally see, something I could point to and understand. For a brief moment, the noise inside my head became quieter.</p><p><br/></p><p>When they realized I had nearly turned the entire house upside down over a lighter, the questions started.</p><p><br/></p><p>“When did you start?”</p><p><br/></p><p>“Where did you get it?”</p><p><br/></p><p>If I had been smoking, that should have been the least of their concerns.</p><p><br/></p><p>But it’s not like I matter to them anyway.</p><p><br/></p><p>I’m the practical one. Their lab rat. The child they experimented on so they could learn how to treat the ones who came after me.</p><p><br/></p><p>It was never just about the lighter.</p><p><br/></p><p>It was about what the lighter gave me.</p><p><br/></p><p>It was about my pills.</p><p><br/></p><p>It was about my desperate attempts to escape the heartbreak, the depression, and the constant war inside my own mind.</p><p><br/></p>
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4
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