VOICES - by Catalyst ✍️

"We all have voices in our head, a voice so subtle, yet it defines our mental health, a voice that disrupts our balance, one which erupts fear and self-doubt. I have this voice, maybe you do too." I remember a day in the faculty, I was late to class this time, sweating, and maybe smelling like my sweat also. But one thing for sure my perfume sets tried its best, but couldn't come to the rescue. As I walked through the hallway, I could already hear the voice in my mind testing mic."Everyone is staring at you, you look rough, they can perceive the sweat, you should have just stayed back at work."Funny thing is, nobody even looked at me for more than two seconds, maybe twice more sha.I remember, one guy was pressing his phone like Fuoye situation doesn't concern him. Another was arguing about assignment. Some were laughing loudly at something not related to me for sure. Life was moving and the world didn't pause because I entered the faculty looking like a burnt offering.But in my head? Omo! the embarrassment was loud.I say down quietly in class, adjusting myself every minutes, acting like the whole class had formed a committee to discuss my condition. Until the girl beside me leaned close and whispered..."Please, did you write the last note?".See me worrying about sweat while another was worrying about attendance and note. That's when it hit me.The flaws and mistakes we think people memorize about us are mostly temporary in their minds. Yes, I know people notice things, but they are human. They rarely hold onto them the way you and I do. The same way you forget somebody's awkward moment after a few minutes is the the same way people forget yours too. Ask yourself, "What's someone awkward moment I witnessed last week?" You can't remember.But we? We carry those awkward moments home, replay them while bathing, before sleeping, replay it all day like it's a Netflix series of Alchemy of Souls. One full mistake becomes a full documentary in our head.There was another day I confidently mispronounced a word in front of people, yeee! The kind mistake that makes your soul leave your body briefly. I laughed outside, but deep inside, I was doing a burial ceremony. For the whole day, I kept thinking "They think I'm dumb right?". Meanwhile, those people had probably moved on to thinking about food, transport fare, relationship problems or IPA CHART and the soon to arrive test.That's the thing about life. Everyone is fighting silent battles with themselves, we all have something we are insecure about, and we have moments we wish we could've Ctrl + Z out of existence.The girl you think is perfect, probably hates her voice. The guy that looks confident probably overthinks every time. That person you admire probably cries over things you could never imagine.We all are humans trying to survive. So " Breathe!"Not every awkward moment is a life sentence, not every mistake deserves self torture. Not every flaw deserves a space in our mind. Sometimes you are not being judged. You are just being human.And we humans? We sweat, we stammer, we fail, we shake, we get things wrong, we embarrass ourselves accidentally.But don't forget "Life doesn't needs us to be perfect, it just needs us to stop being hard on ourselves. Catalyst ✍️

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