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Writewithoma Nigeria Fiction Author || Autofiction writer || Freelance writer || Content Creator @ National open university of Nigeria
In Nigeria • 2 min read •
A Complimentary Tour of the Fuel Station.
<p>Is it just me, or do Lagos riders have a personal vendetta against my travel plans? 😭</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Because why is it that almost every time I’m on a bus or keke, the driver suddenly remembers that his fuel tank exists?</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Am I anti-bus? Am I attracting fuel stations? Is there something about my face that says, ā€œThis passenger has absolutely nowhere important to beā€?</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Because how do you pick up passengers before deciding that today is the day you need petrol?</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Anyway, please tell me I am not the only one who experiences this šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜‘šŸ˜‘šŸ˜‘</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>………… ……..</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>A sarcastic short poemĀ </p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Dear Lagos riders ,</p><p><br/></p><p>thank you for your service.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>I entered your keke as a passenger,</p><p><br/></p><p>not an investor in your transportation business.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Yet here we are,</p><p><br/></p><p>bonded by circumstance,</p><p><br/></p><p>parked at a filling station</p><p><br/></p><p>I never agreed to visit.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>And the communication?</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Ah, yes. The communication.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Sometimes you apologize.</p><p><br/></p><p>Sometimes you don’t.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Sometimes you turn around and say,</p><p><br/></p><p>ā€œIt’s a quick one.ā€</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>A quick one.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>As though we haven’t heard it before.</p><p><br/></p><p>As though we don’t know how this story ends.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Because somehow,</p><p><br/></p><p>that quick one has a longer runtime</p><p><br/></p><p>than some Nigerian movies.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>You could have bought fuel before I arrived,</p><p><br/></p><p>but where is the fun in that</p><p><br/></p><p>when you can make a paying customer</p><p><br/></p><p>supervise your financial decisions?</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>How thoughtful of you</p><p><br/></p><p>to let me experience the full cycle</p><p><br/></p><p>of public transportation.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>From point A to point petrol,</p><p><br/></p><p>with little to no consultation.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Five stars for customer inclusion.</p><p><br/></p><p>Zero stars for communication.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Next time, please let me know</p><p><br/></p><p>if my transport fare includes</p><p><br/></p><p>a guided tour of your fuel economy.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>I’d have dressed appropriately.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>After all,</p><p><br/></p><p>I paid to reach my destination,</p><p><br/></p><p>not to witness the birth</p><p><br/></p><p>of your next business decision.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>And please,</p><p><br/></p><p>the next time you say ā€œit’s a quick one,ā€</p><p><br/></p><p>remember that we are passengers,</p><p><br/></p><p>not your timekeepers.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Yours in unwanted patience,</p><p><br/></p><p>A Lagos passenger.</p>

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