The Thing About What No One Tells You

No one told me that you never truly understand grief until it becomes personal...

I've learnt to accept people asking the question "How is your mum?" and not, "How are your parents?"

I've learnt to answer "She's fine" instead of, "They're fine." 

Grief is not linear. 

You don't just beat it on a random Wednesday.

There are days I feel like I've definitely gotten over it. And days where I just keep remembering, thinking how different everything would have been if he was still here.

Sometimes I feel bad for missing him, because I know he's in a better place. But I can't help it. I'm only human.

And though I talk about him in the past tense, it still seems as if he just went on a very long journey. One he'll be back from soon. Back to us.

 He never really left, I tell myself.

But he did.

And I'm learning that it's okay to accept that I'll never truly be okay with it.

People often talk about how hard it is to lose someone.

Yes.

But you never truly understand grief

until it becomes personal.