And Then You Feel - by The Jotter Keeper

And Then, You Feel; Like being disappointed when you realize your favorite actor is the villain. Like being surprised when you realize that the person you trust is the one causing you pain. Like being embarrassed when you dress well just so your crush can see you, but she doesn’t notice until you’re in that blue jersey and those slippers that call out people’s names. Like that empty silence when you realize the person you’ve been lying to has finally caught up with you. Like that little laugh you make when your girl finally agrees to be intimate with you. Like how embarrassing it feels to realize that you’ve been the fool all along, and not the person you thought was the fool. Like how disappointed you get when you open that ice cream container, expecting a vanilla-and-strawberry combo, only to find pre-heated Eba. Like how frustrating it gets when you can’t complete a task that should have been simple. Like how relieving it feels to finally upload all those assignments to the school portal without experiencing a network glitch. Like how important you feel when you get an invitation to sit in the front row at an event. Like how disturbed you feel when you notice that someone has been stalking you from bus stop to bus stop. Like how emotional you feel when you lose your pet dog or cat. Like how angry you get when you realize the younger sibling you sent on an errand has decided they simply cannot go. Like how stupid you feel when a youngling completes a task you couldn’t. Like how exhilarating it feels when you notice your crush might actually be looking at you. Like the strange feeling of hearing your name mentioned in a room where you thought nobody knew you. Like the relief of finding money in the pocket of an old pair of trousers. Like the fear that grips you when your phone rings at an odd hour and you immediately think something is wrong. Like the joy of seeing someone you love after a long time, even when neither of you knows what to say. Like the sadness that comes when you realize that some moments will never happen again. Like all these little moments that come and go without asking for permission. You laugh. You cringe. You get angry. You become embarrassed. You feel relieved. You feel important. You feel stupid. You feel loved. You feel hurt. And then, you feel. Because maybe that is what being human really is. Not always knowing what to call the feeling. Just knowing that, somehow, you feel it.

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