Score |
337
GELE OF WAR
<p>“Is it because of me you tied your gele?”</p><p>Yepaaaaa! </p><p>Aunty Yewande did, in fact, tie her gele because of me.</p><p><br/></p><p>The gele was hanging on her shoulders after the rigorous dancing she had done, and she tied it immediately after concluding that I had disrespected her and was ready to fight me.</p><p><br/></p><p>Let me tell you what happened.</p><p><br/></p><p>We were at my cousin’s wedding, and Aunty Yewande happened to be a distant relative. She had danced so hard that she came back to collect cash from the clutch she had kept with me for safekeeping. She kept talking about how she wanted to spray it on the dancing couple, so I told her:</p><p><br/></p><p>“Aunty Yewande, spraying money counts as currency abuse and is a crime in Nigeria, and there are lots of cameras here, ma.”</p><p><br/></p><p>She was furious.</p><p><br/></p><p>She threatened to slap me if I didn’t respect myself and respect her old age.</p><p><br/></p><p>She went ahead and sprayed the money all over the place anyway.</p><p><br/></p><p>When she came back for more cash, I told her to collect her clutch because I didn’t want it to be heard that I was the one enabling her.</p><p><br/></p><p>This woman started shouting and grabbing my clothes.</p><p><br/></p><p>The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I told her she would pay me every dime I spent making my outfit if she didn’t leave me alone.</p><p><br/></p><p>That was when she tied her gele.</p><p><br/></p><p>In readiness to beat me, or so she thought. </p><p><br/></p><p>But the gele is not even the bone of contention.</p><p><br/></p><p>The bone of contention is that Aunty Yewande has been arrested for abuse of the Naira and is still locked up.</p><p><br/></p><p>This is your sign to put that money you want to spray in the envelopes, bags, or boxes the celebrants provide.</p><p><br/></p><p>Ire ooooo.</p>
33
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