I fear I was born in the wrong generation. I want to be courted, adored, pursued and loved with an almost embarrassing amount of intentionality. I want old-fashioned romance in a generation that has somehow turned emotional unavailability into a personality trait.

I want love letters. Actual handwritten ones. I want someone to remember the little things I say in passing, to be excited to see me, to make plans and follow through. I want long conversations that turn into mornings, random flowers, thoughtful gestures and the kind of affection that doesn't make me question whether I'm doing too much.

And is it a crime to want a man who is 6'2 and above, smart, handsome, kind, emotionally intelligent, generous, God-fearing and supportive of feminism? Is that too much to ask? 😭

At some point, my romantic preferences were exclusively Japanese or Italian men. I had a whole international recruitment policy. But honestly, I have relaxed. A Nigerian man, a proper babe's Nigerian man, will do just fine. I am not unreasonable. LMAO.

But seriously, I don't think wanting a man who is kind, thoughtful, emotionally mature and secure enough to support women's equality is asking for the moon. I want someone who understands that feminism isn't a personal attack on his masculinity. Someone who sees me as a person, not a project to manage.

And before anyone asks the infamous question, "What exactly do you bring to the table?" Please, I have worked on myself. WORKED. I have spent time becoming someone I would want to date. I have questioned my habits, unlearned things, built interests, pursued my ambitions and tried to become emotionally and intellectually better. I didn't just wake up one morning with a list of demands. I have been putting in the work, too. 🙄

I don't want perfection. I know I am not perfect either. I want compatibility, mutual effort and someone whose presence makes life feel a little softer.

Maybe I am a hopeless romantic. Maybe I have consumed too many films, read too many love stories and developed unrealistic expectations. But I refuse to believe that wanting tenderness, commitment and genuine affection is an unreasonable desire.

I don't want to be someone's almost, their whenever, their late-night convenience or their lesson in emotional maturity.

I want to be loved deliberately.

And if that's too much to ask, well, I suppose I'll keep my little romantic fantasies and mind my business until further notice.(one stupid boy pushed me to write this sha 😭)