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Bolanlejesu Akinola Writer @ Medium, Substack ...
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In Mental Health 3 min read
How to deal with Guilt
<p>The conscience does well in helping us realise when we’ve done wrong or done bad. Although, when it becomes a lot; guilt can become our barrier to success and peace. How do we know something is good or bad?</p> <p>According to GoodTherapy, Guilt is an emotion that relates to a person’s sense of right and wrong. Most people experience guilt after making a mistake or doing something they regret.</p> <p>Sometimes, guilt leads us to repentance, to turn and change; we reflect and see what we could have done better; we then determine to do better next time. Other times guilt shatters, it breaks the heart, it wants more. You see a lot of….."I should have done this and done that ..” It becomes repetitive. We blame and point fingers to ourselves. Sometimes, it is a situation we can’t change so guilt hold us to account even more. It then becomes our judge.</p> <p>It becomes uncontrollable and it causes many things to the mental state and of course, the body. It harms us and it even harms others.</p> <p>Someone who’s hurt would have only hurt to give, someone who’s anxious, would teach others to be anxious consciously or unconsciously.</p> <p>We can learn from our feelings sometimes but we can’t completely rely on them. Guilt is an emotion. We feel it but we have to know it. Know it and what it does. A guilty conscience is not our utmost judge. An emotion is also not always right.</p> <p>I use to blame myself a lot of times; I would find myself guilty for many things and of course, something guilty has a consequence, right?</p> <p>As someone who has suffered symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder(OCD), addiction and depression; I understand what it means to feel guilty and how it can both be a causing and then a resulting effect of mental issues.</p> <p>But what can cover a multitude of sins? Only forgiveness.</p> <p>1 Peter 4:8 says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Proverbs 10:12 says, “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.”</p> <p>In what way does love cover sin? Simple forgiveness. We cannot fully forgive others if we can’t forgive ourselves. The way we see ourselves is the way we tend to see others and even worse. We project what we are and what we feel unto others.</p> <p>The first thing to do is to accept there is a problem. Ask yourself questions: What, why and how?</p> <p>It is important to know that a bad behaviour doesn’t make you a bad person. There is still room for change. Realise you are human and you can fall, realise you don’t know everything and you can learn. Understand somethings are beyond your control.</p> <p>Above all, know guilt and take a hold of it. I know someone who wants your success because he is good. God is good.</p> <p>Someone once said in the Bible and I quote ‘1 John 3:20, NIV: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.’</p> <p>Back to the question — How do we know good or bad?</p> <p>This article was previously published here: <a href="https://medium.com/illumination/how-to-deal-with-guilt-593a9e163dee">https://medium.com/illumination/how-to-deal-with-guilt-593a9e163dee</a></p> </span>
How to deal with Guilt
By Bolanlejesu Akinola
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