I don’t remember how we began,

But I remember the first time I saw you—

I truly saw you.

You stood there in your skin,

With a spark in your eyes,

A life within life itself.

It feels different when you’re intentional,

When the version of you I love shines through.

But my heart shatters every time

You change so radically, so suddenly.

Last night, you promised it was the last time.

Just like two weeks ago and then, two weeks before that.

But your promises are echoes now,

Fading before they ever reach me.

You won’t go to rehab,

You won’t see the fractures left in our bonded hearts

The damage it’s done to us.

Your words don’t carry weight anymore.

I’m used to you.

And being with you means

I risk losing my mind too.

Let me speak the truth

You’ve always been too afraid to hear;

It won’t be your last.

We both know you’ll return to it—

Again and again.

I feel like a help,

But not the help meet for you.

I give everything,

But it’s never enough.

You need something I cannot offer,

No matter how hard I try.

Yet, I saw those eyes again—

That life, that spark.

I knew you had more within you.

More than this.

So, I made the choice you couldn’t.

I sold you out—

Not out of spite,

But for a purpose.

For the best of you.

For the best of us.