If Shame Were a Person, It Would Be Me in JSS2

If you ever feel like you've embarrassed yourself in the name of love, please sit down. I have a story for you. So, today, I went through my old class group, the group of people I attended junior and senior secondary school with. You know, the people I graduated with in SS3 and all of that. They were bantering, bringing up old memories and reminding one another of the things we used to do back then. And, in the process, I was reminded of something I did when I was in JSS. It started around JSS1. In fact, it was quite intense in JSS2 and only began to subside in JSS3. So, this is what happened. If you ever feel ashamed of yourself, just remember that there was once a girl named Paradise who had a crush on a boy. For anonymity's sake, we're going to call him Mayo. Now, Paradise liked Mayo. She liked him so much that she didn't want any other girl getting close to him. There was a time my friend from JSS2C came to tell me that Mayo had gone to JSS2C with some of my other classmates to play truth or dare. To be very honest, the truth or dare game itself did not really concern me. What got me angry was hearing that Mayo had probably kissed a girl or done something with another girl. I was furious, and guess what I did? I reported him to the head of the school. Mayo was flogged. 😭 Now, during Valentine's Day in my school, people who were dating would buy gifts for their girlfriends and all of that. But in my own case, things were a little different because I was the one buying gifts for Mayo. Mayo had two friends he usually walked around with. For anonymity's sake, we'll call the first one Far and the second one Ka. So, I would buy these flower valentine sweets and give them to Ka. I would buy three, sometimes even more, and beg him to help me give them to Mayo because I wanted Mayo to like me. That was not all. If you think that's all, it gets worse. One day, Mayo told me that he only liked girls with very big bumbum. GUESS WHAT? I went to slim-fit my skirt. And that wasn't even the craziest part. After slim-fitting my skirt, I went ahead and added clothes to my tights. You know how, after wearing your pants, you wear tights? I added pieces of clothing to the tights and carefully arranged them to give the impression that I had a big bumbum. I literally created an artificial bumbum for myself. That was not all. There was a time Ka told me that the clothes I had added to create the artificial bumbum didn't suit me. He said that even if I had a big bumbum, it wouldn't look good on me. Omo. 😭 But that wasn't even the craziest part. Because I wanted to have a big bumbum so that Mayo would notice me, I went ahead and bought waist beads. Do you get?? 😂 At the time, there was this myth or something that if you bought and wore waist beads, your bumbum would become bigger. A classmate of mine had bought waist beads, started wearing them, and apparently, her bumbum became bigger. So, naturally, I decided to try it too. I bought waist beads and started wearing them. And Mayo saw me buying the waist beads. Omo, for days, they laughed at me like mad. That was not even the worst part. Remember I told you that I had been doing everything possible to get Mayo to notice me? Well, at some point, I became so sad that, despite everything I had done, this boy still wasn't noticing me. So, I decided to write him a letter. I wrote a letter telling Mayo how much I liked him and how much of a crush I had on him. Guess what Mayo did? He took the letter and handed it over to a teacher. Remember I mentioned earlier that I always found a way to implicate him whenever I saw him with another girl? I guess that might have been why he decided to do that. Omo, I nearly entered the ground that day. My only consolation was that the teacher didn't come out to show the letter to the entire class or anything. Imagine the embarrassment! After all my efforts, all my sacrifices, all the Valentine's sweets, the artificial bumbum construction, the waist beads and, finally, the love letter, this boy still went ahead and reported me to a teacher. 😭😭😭 So, what exactly am I trying to say? If you ever feel ashamed of anything you've done in your life, just know that there was a period in my own life when I was practically bathing myself in shame. As in, I was eating shame for breakfast, lunch and dinner. AH! OMO. Please, tell me I'm not the only one who has done something this embarrassing because of a crush. What's your own story? I'm waiting. 😂

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