There's something wrong with me and I'm very much aware of it.

Once I see a man, I immediately become so stupid and obviously do stupid things. By the time I come back to whatever is left of my senses, it's already too late.

I don't usually feel regret. 

Never that.

Shame on the other hand? Absolutely.

I feel so ashamed of the way I've acted that I start tracing my thoughts back from the exact moment it started, trying to figure out where everything went wrong.

It could be a simple Hi, and the next thing that floats into my brain is :

You must go down with him or else.

Next thing I know, I'm putting myself in positions I can't begin to explain how I got into, doing things that could make a statue gasp.

I don't think I've always been like this.

Or maybe I always have, and there are just certain conditions that bring this side of me out.

The kind of music I listen to could be a core contributor though...

But most of the time, I'm without music.

So that can't be it.

Or is it my friends?

No, they're innocent in all this. 

I might even be the bad influence here.

Or is it the repeated catcalling?

Nope.

I've already embraced it like a second skin.

I don't think there's a cause. Or a circumstance. Or anything I can point to and use as justification.

Funny thing is, I don't think I can stop. 

or maybe I don't want to stop.